


Movies with the Scourge Sisters (A recursive “Movies by Karkat” MSTing) presents: “Transformers: The Movie”

by Ralte



Category: Homestuck, MSTing - Fandom, Mystery Science Theater 3000, The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One), Transformers Generation One
Genre: Anon_H, MSTing, Movies with Karkat, Snark, Trolls, movie, movies - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-05-11 13:28:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5628247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ralte/pseuds/Ralte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vriska is bored out of her mind and searches together with Terezi for something to distract herself the two discover the "Transformers", Franchise and the animated "Transformers: The Movie" the first feature film of the Transformers.</p>
<p>The Scourge-Sisters decided to share the movie with their friends afterwards.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Battle of Autobot City

**Author's Note:**

> My first MSTing on “Archiveofourown”. I wrote others before but I was inspired by the work of my colleague on this site  
> [Anon_H](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Anon_H/pseuds/Anon_H) who wrote several great MSTings where he found a way to riff on movies in the form of MSTing’s and he did a great job doing so.  
> Check out his MSTing-Series [Everyone watch Disney](http://archiveofourown.org/series/34526) and the more recent one [Movies with Karkat](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1136071/chapters/2297028).  
> They are pretty good and very funny and worth a read.
> 
> I hope that my attempt of an MSTing with that style as an inspiration will work out and that you guys will find it equally as funny as the comedic works of Anon_H.
> 
> Without further ado: Enjoy the story!

==========================================================================================

–arachnidsGrip [AG] opened memo: Nothing is happening here!!!!!!!!–

AG: 8ooooooooring!!!!!!!!  


–gallowsCallibrator [GC] joined memo-

GC: WH4T 1S TH3 M4TT3R VR1SK4? NOT 3NOUGH 1RONS 1N TH3 F1R3? >:]  
AG: I have them in the fire 8ut they all 8ore me today.  
AG: I’m 8ored and I don’t know what to do ag8nst that.  
GC: DO YOUR T4X3S TH3N.  
AG: I already did them yesterday.  
GC: R34LLY?  
AG: I like to get such 8ooooooooring stuff out of the way 8efore it 8others me too much.  
GC: TH3N L3T US LOOK UP STUFF ON TH3 1NT3RN3T 4ND L3T US F1ND SOM3TH1NG 1NT3R3ST1NG.  
AG: Yes, yes wh8ver.  
GC: 3V3R H34RD OF “TR4NSFORM3RS” MY D34R S1ST3R?  
AG: No, I didn’t. Let me see........ Gog, that is a LOT of stuff. What is all this????????  
GC: OST3NS1BL3 4 POPUL4R L1N3 OF TOYS W1TH 3V3N MOR3 POPUL4R S3T OF 4N1M4T3D S3R13S  
GC: SHOULD W3 R1SK 4 V13W?  
AG: Of course!!!!!!!!  
AG: Let us 8egin with the very first anim8d “Transformer” Series ever.  


One episode later...

AG: Okay, that was........ Different.  
GC: 1T TH1NK 1T W4S FUN SO M4NY COLOURS, 4ND TH4T OPT1MUS PR1M3 W4S D3L1C1OUS  
AG: That is a show for little wrigglers 8ut a rather entert8ning one.  
GC: SH4LL W3 S33 TH3 N3XT 3P1SOD3?  
AG: I suppoooooooose so. It ended on a cliff-hanger after all.  


5 episodes later...

AG: I know it is a show for wrigglers 8ut it has an odd kind of charm to it.  
GC: 1T 1S D1FF1CULT TO 1GNOR3  
AG: It feels wrong and right at the same time........ May8e we should stop after the next episode?  
GC: 1F W3 C4N 1F YOU C4N S3RK3T! H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3!  


All of season one later...

GC: 1 TH1NK TH4T W3 B3C4M3 “TR4NSFORM3R” F4NS  
AG: Do you think so?  


All of season two later...

GC: Y3S, 1M PR3TTY SUR3  
AG: And now the movie.........   


An animated “Transformers” movie later...

AG: ........   
GC: ......   
AG: That was awesome!!!!!!!!  
GC: TH3 COLOURS!  
AG: The action!!!!!!!!  
GC: TH3 COURT DR4M4!  
AG: All the d8th and destruction!!!!!!!!  
GC: W3 SHOULD SHOW TH4T MOV13 TOO TH3 OTH3RS  
GC: W3 SHOULD STR34M 1T  
AG: Good idea, 8ut not in Karkats movie memo.  
AG: We will open our own memo for movies.  
GC: 1T W1LL B3 TH3 P3RF3CT MOV13 N1GHT!  
AG: Ah, Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!  
GC: 3H, H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3!  
AG: 8ut 8efore that let us see season three.  
GC: W1TH PL34SUR3 D34R S1ST3R  


All of season three, the reading of several articles on the Transformer-Wiki and a complete viewing of “Transormers: The Headmasters” later...

–gallowsCalibrator [CG] opened memo “SCOURG1NG MOV13S”– 

GC: 3V3RYBODY WHO D4R3S 1T SH4LL NOW 3NT3R TH3 M3MO TO S33 4 M4GN1F1C3NT MOV13!  


–grimAuxiliatrix [CG] joined memo–

GA: Magnificent Question Mark  
GA: What Movie Did You Two Find That Lets You Make A Assertion Like That  


–arachnidsGrip [AG] joined memo–

AG: No, questions Kanaya. You will see it for yourself.  
AG: Let me just say that it will not 8ore anyone.  


–caligulasAquarium [AG] joined memo–

CA: Somebody told me that there wwould be a screenin of aknotter wwar-movvie   
CA: Is it aknotter parody  
GC: FOR TH3 L4ST T1M3 PR1NC3 OF S34 STUP1D: “PL4TOON” W4SN’T 4 P4RODY  
CA: WWhatevver I hope this wwar movvie is better  


–carcinoGeneticist [AG] joined memo–

CG: WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?  
CG: A MOVIE STREAM UNDER THE WEEK? THIS IS AGAINST THE FUCKING RULES!  
AG: What rules 8rave leader? Are you the only one who is allowed to m8ke a movie-stream?  
CG: OH, DON’T TRY THAT SHIT SERKET!   
CG: OKAY IT WAS FUCKING STUPID OF ME TO SAY THAT IT IS AGAINST THE RULES.  
CG: BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS CUSTOM THAT MOVIES ARE ONLY STREAMED ONCE A WEEK.  
GC: C4LM YOUR CURS3S K4RK4T NOBODY 1S FORC3D TO ST4Y H3R3  
AG: 8ut you would miss an awesome movie in that case!!!!!!!!  
CG: OKAY OKAY I WILL FUCKING STAY HERE YOU ASSHOLES.  
CG: BUT I MAY CHANGE MY MIND.  


–adiosToreador [AG] joined memo–

AT: hEY, eVERYONE.  
CA: Hi Tavv  
AT: wHY ARE, uHH, wE HERE TODAY? THIS, uHH, iSN’T THE RIGHT TIME FOR THE WEEKLY MOVIE-STREAM.  
AG: This is the stream of the scourge sisters!!!!!!!! A newer and superior stream!  


–centaursTesticle [AG] joined memo–

CT: D --> A bold statement Vriska but can you keep that promise  
GC: OF COURS3! W3 W1LL SHOW YOU MOV13S TH4T 3V3N GOG H4S N3V3R S33N  
CT: D --> We shouldn’t get religious themes involved in this stream.  
CT: D --> They tent to cause headaches and arguments.  
CA: Please Eq it isn’t my fault that you believve that magic is reel I wwanted to showw you the truth knothin else  
AG: Equius, religious arguments don’t produce headaches.  
CA: Thank you vvris  
AG: Eridan causes them.  
CA: I take that back.  


–arsenicCatnip [AG] joined memo–

AC: :33< *The great cat huntress took the invitation of the mighty dragon*  
GC: *TH3 M1GHTY DR4GON 1S 1ND33D V3RY GR4T3FUL 4ND H4PPY TO S33 H3R FR13ND COM1NG TO TH1S P4RTY*  
AG: *The powerful spider pir8 greets the cat with an evil cackle*  
CG: *THE CRAB IS ALREADY ANNOYED BY THE ROLEPLAYING.*  
CG: *THE CRAB FEELS ALSO A LITTLE HYPOCRITICAL TODAY*  
AC: :33< *The great cat huntress purrs and jumps onto the back of the incredible strong horse*  
CT: D --> *The horse doesn’t like to Roleplay with the others seeing him doing that.*  
GA: *The Mother Grub Shows Interest In Joining This Group Of Trolls Who Take The Roles Of Other Beings*  


–terminallyCapricious [AG] joined memo–

TC: WhOa, MoThErFuCkErS wHaT iS gOiNg On HeRe?  
CG: AN UNSCHEDULED MOVIE-NIGHT FROM THE FUCKING SCOURGE-DUO.   
CG: BE VERY FUCKING AFRAID   
TC: ThIs Is A mIrAcLe! A sEcOnD mOvIe NiGhT tHiS wEeK? tHiS sOuNdS mOtHeRfUcKiN pErFeCt!  
AG: It will 8e perfect, I and Terezi choose the movie after all.  
CG: IS THAT DIPSTICK NICHOLAS CAGE IN THE MOVIE?  
GC: NO  
CG: HUH, I’M SURPRISED.   
AG: I’m more than only a C8ge-Fangirl Vantas.  
AG: 8ut his presence would m8ke any movie 8etter.  
AT: wHAT ABOUT GHOST RIDER?  
AG: It would have 8een worse without him.  


–cuttlefishCuller [AG] joined memo–

CC: A goldfis)( w)(ispered to me t)(at t)(ere is a movie-nig)(t outside of t)(e regular sc)(edule.  
CC: T)(is is -EXITING.  
CC: Glub  
GC: H1, H31R3SS W3LCOM3 TO TH3 SCOURG3 MOV13-N1GHT  
CC: W)(ic)( movie did you two c)(oose?  
AG: It is a surprise 8ut I can say that it is one of the 8est!!!!!!!!  
CG: I HAVE MY DOUBTS ABOUT THAT.  


–apocalypseArisen [AG] joined memo–

AA: Hell0  
AT: hI, aRADIA, hOW ARE YOU?  
AA: Very g00d I disc0vered a beautiful m0vie ab0ut the dead  
AA: I w0uld like t0 share it with y0u all  
AT: wHAT IS THE NAME OF THE MOVIE?  
AA: C0rpse Bride  
CG: N0 I WILL N0T WATCH AN0THER FUCKING PUKING-ASS HORRIBLE M0VIE AB0UT NECR0PHILIA!  
AA: O_O  
AA: Excuse me?  
CG: THAT FUCKING FUCK-FUCK OF A FUCKHOLE CALIBORN GAVE ME THAT STINKING GERMAN MOVIE CALLED “NEKROMANTIK.”   
CG: HE ASSERTED THAT IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL ROMANCE AND NOT THE SICK-FUCKFEST I GOT TO SEE!  
AT: uHM,, yOU NEVER, uHH, cONSIDERED THAT HE WAS TRYING TO TRICK YOU?  
CG: OF COURSE I FUCKING CONSIDERED IT SHITHEAD!   
CG: BUT I NEVER THOUGHT IN MY WILDEST SHIT-TUBE-STINKING DREAMS ABOUT VOMIT-FEASTS OF HORRORTERRORS THAT IT WOULD BE THAT SHIT-STINKING HORRIBLE!   
CG: I BET EVEN DAMARA WOULD PUKE IF SHE WOULD SEE IT.   
CG: I HOPE SHE WOULD BECAUSE OTHERWISE SHE WOULD BE EVEN A MORE ABNORMAL ASSHOLE THAN BEFORE!   
AA: D0n’t w0rry Karkat “C0rpse Bride” is rated PG  
CG: THANK FUCKING GOG FOR THAT!  


–twinArmageddons [AG] joined memo–

TA: II don’t want two know, II don’t want two know.  
CG: YOU ARE RIGHT WITH THAT.  
AA: Can we see "C0rpse Bride" t0m0rr0w?  
GA: I Would Like Open My Own Movie Night   
GA: The First Movie I Would Like To Present Is “New Moon”  
CT: D -->The idea of holding a moovie-night sounds interesting.  
CT: D --> I found more moovies from Arnold %hwarzenegger I would like to share.  
CT: D --> Or from Sylvester Stallone. His physique challenges the one of the Governator.  
AT: i WOULD LIKE TO HOLD MY OWN MOVIE-NIGHT .  
AT: wITH THE SECOND POKÉMON-MOVIE “POKÉMON: THE MOVIE 2000”.  
AC: :33< Perhaps I could have one too.  
AC: :33< I found that cool animal movie with the name “Watership Down.”  
CA: Speakin of screenin movvies I knoww a feww good human wwar movvies  
CA: Pike “Savvin Privvate Ryan” and this time it HAS to be a parody  
TA: IIf you guy2 really want two 2ee a comedy II 2ugge2t “Hacker2”.  
TA: IIt made 2o many mii2take2 about hackiing II almo2t diied from laughter.  
CC: “Finding Nemo” is suc)( a B-EAUTIFUL MOVI-E!  
CC: I would love to screen it!  
CC: Glub glub glub  
TC: WhOa, HeY i ReMeMbEr SeEiN tHaT mIrAcUlOuS tHe OtHeR dAy.  
TC: In It WaS tHaT wIcKeD mOtHeRfUcKeR oF a LePrEcHaUn.   
TC: aNd ThE mOvIe WaS nAmEd AfTeR hIm.  
CG: STOP THIS SHIT, EVERYBODY STOP THIS FUCKING NONSENSE IMMEDIATELY!  
CG: YOU CAN’T ALL HAVE STUPID MOVIE-NIGHTS ON YOUR OWN!  
CG: EXCEPT YOUR IDEA KANAYA, YOUR CHOICE FOR A MOVIE IS QUITE GOOD.  
GA: I Thank You For This Compelling Compliment Karkat.   
GA: But You Couldn’t And Shouldn’t Deny The Others The Right Hold A Gathering With The Target To Watch A Cinematic Piece Of Art  
GC: I KNOW, YOU ARE FUCKING CORRECT KANAYA.  
CG: BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT WE THICK-HEADED IDIOTS NEED SOME FUCKING ORDER AND REGULAR SOCIAL ACTIVITIES TOGETHER.  
CG: WHEN EVERYBODY DOES THEIR OWN STUPID THING WE COULD FUCKING BREAK APART AS A GROUP OF MOVIE-WATCHERS AND EVERYBODY COULD SIMPLY END UP WATCHING THE MOVIES THEY WANT WITHOUT GIVING NEW IDIOTIC STUFF A CHANCE!  
TA: A22hole, 2ome tiime watchiing a moviie alone or only wiith another per2on would be pretty niice for a change.  
CG: I KNOW, I KNOW BUT COULD WE PLEASE KEEP ONE FUCKING REGULAR-MOVIE NIGHT FOR EVERYBODY?  
GC: DON’T G3T M4D K4RKL3S   
GC: L3T US F1GUR3 OUT TH3 LOG1ST1CS 4FT3R TH3 MOV13, WOULD TH4T B3 OK4Y FOR YOU?  
CG: YES IT WOULD BE A MIND-NUMBING PLEASURE TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION LATER AND NOT NOW.  
CG: I’M SO EXCITED ABOUT WHINY, CHEESE-FILLED STINKING ARGUMENTS ABOUT WHO COULD ORGANIZE THE BEST MOVIE-NIGHT  
AG: Then let us start the movie know 8efore another mile long argument!!!!!!!!  


CA: WWhale this is settin a mysterious and vvery cosmic mood  
AC: :33< The animation is really purrtty  
GA: Is This A Moon A Space Station Or Both Question Mark  
GC: YOU W1LL S33 TH3 4NSW3R SOON 3NOUGH  
CG: IT REMINDS ME OF CLASSICAL SCIENCE FICTION MOVIES.  
CG: BEAUTIFUL IMAGES AND SCENES TO PRESENT THE BEAUTY OF SPACE HOW MYSTICAL IT CAN LOOK TO US.  
CG: EVEN THE MUSIC IS INCREDIBLE.  
CG: WHAT OR WHO IS THIS MYSTERIOUS OCCURRENCE?  
AG: It is an epiphany.  
CT: D --> E%cuse me?  
GC: YOU W1LL S33  


CC: O)(, cute little Robot-Alien C)(ildren!  
CT: D --> This is an Impressive display of roboti%. Who build them and why  
AG: Not important right now.   


CG: “THAT GIANT MOVING MECHANICAL PLANET NAMED UNICRON IS HERE?” NO, FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK!   
CG: HOW COULD THOSE INCOMPETENT IDIOTS OVERLOOK THIS OVERSIZED THING UNTIL IT WAS ON THEIR METAPHORICAL DOORSTEP?  
AC: :33< Purrhaps it is stealthy, sneaky and silent like a ninja? Or a cat? A cat-ninja! A ninja-cat-planet!  
CA: I put my bait on vvery advvanced stealth-technology  


AG: And Unicron t8kes a snack.  
GA: I Have To Say That His Is A Very Apocalyptic And Horrific Thing To Observe  
GA: Your Entire Home Planet And Civilization Are Eaten Out Of Nowhere For Unknown Reasons  
AG: It looks more impressive than the end of our world as we knew it.  
TA: More fla2hy.  


AT: tHIS IS PRETTY SCARY.   
AT: nO, iT IS INCREDIBLY DISTURBING, hORRIFYING AND TERRIBLE!  
CA: This powwer this incredible destructivve powwer   
CA: Consumin and destroyin evverythin and evveryone you wwant  
CA: Unstoppable  
AG: Ampora, are you aroused 8y him???????? ::::)  
CA: Shut it Serket  
AG: Oh, how cute he is em8arrassed!!!!!!!!  
AG: I 8et your f8ce is very violet at this moment ::::)  
GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3!  
GC: YOU 4R3 CH3W1NG MOR3 TH4N YOU C4N H4NDL3 3R1D4N  
GC: UN1CRON 1S W4Y 4BOV3 YOUR L34GU3  
AA: He is an incredible hungry machine  
AA: But why w0uldn’t he eat uninhabited planets t0 satisfy his hunger?  
CC: T)(e poor c)(ildren... :(.  


GA: It Seems That His Hunger Is Statured For Now  
GA: I Have The Notion That He May Use His Refreshed Strength For A Certain Objective  
TC: WhOa, ThIs MoThErFuCkIn OpEnIn GoT mY aTtEnTiOn.  
TC: wHaT oThEr KiNdS oF mIrAcLeS wIlL tHiS mOvIe CoNjUrE tO uS?  
CG: I HATE TO AGREE WITH GAMZEE BUT THIS WAS A PRETTY STRONG OPENING.  
CG: SEEMS AS IF WE GET TO WATCH A MORE SERIOUS ANIMATED MOVIE.  
AG: 8y the way, this is a movie m8de for wiggler.  
CG: WHAT?!   


AA: This l00ks familiar  
TA: II2 thii2 2ome kiind of a riip-off?  
GC: ST4R W4RS W4S 4ND ST1LL 1S 4 M4YOR 1NFLU3NC3 ON SC13NC3-F1CT1ON 4CCORD1NG TO MY R3S34RCH  
CT: D --> How big is this inf100ncea  
GC: B1GG3R TH4N YOU C4N 1M4G1N3 4ND TOO L4RG3 TO 3XPL41N 1T 1N 4 QU1CK M4NN3R  
AG: 8ut don’t worry guys, this movie has otherwise more than enough original ideas on its own!!!!!!!!  
AT: i HOPE, uHH, tHIS ISN’T A HOLLOW PROMISE.  
CC: T)(is seams to be a classical “good vs. -Evil” scenario.   
CC: T)(e Autobots try to reconquer t)(eir )(ome world from t)(e Decepticons and t)(e Autobots plan to stage t)(eir attack from t)(eir secret moon base.  
CG: DECEPTICONS? THOSE STUPID EVIL GUYS ARE CALLED DECEPTICONS?   
CG: I COULDN’T BELIEVE THIS IDIOTIC TRUTH THE FIRST TIME I HEARD IT!  
CG: WHY DON’T YOU CALL YOURSELF “THE SHIT-EATING EVIL ASSHOLE ORGANISATION OF MORONIC KITTEN-KILLERS“ WHILE YOU’RE FUCKING AT IT?   
GA: I Have To Agree With Karkat  
GA: Calling Your Group “Decepticons” Is A Very Imbecile Move  
GA: Who In Their Right Mind Would Ever Trust Such People  
CG: I BET THOSE AUTOBOTS ARE IN A WAR WITH THEM BECAUSE THEY WANT TO GET RID OFF ALL THE UNTRUSTWORTHY ASSHOLES IN THE UNIVERSE.   
CG: THAT OR THIS IS A AUTOBOT PROPAGANDA-MOVIE.  
AC: :33< “Transfurmers! More than m33ts the eyes!”  
AC: :33< That is a very catchy tune  


CT: D --> Oh  
CT: D --> Are all characters in that moovie robots  
AG: Almost.  
AG: Only two annoying humans run around.  
AG: 8ut all the important roles are ro8ots.  
GA: Excuse My Question Vriska But I Thought You Like Humans  
AG: I do!!!!!!!!   
AG: 8ut for some reason the humans here don’t seem really necessary.  
GC: TH3 W1TW1CKYS 4R3 TOL3R4BL3 H3R3   
GC: 1T COULD B3 WORS3  
CA: Oh they prepare for a wwar  
TA: They call them 2ecret moon-ba2e2 but that biird-robot had an ea2y tiime fiindiing them.  
TA: They are 2hiitty at hiidiing.  
CG: BUT THEIR LEADER LOOKS AND SOUNDS IMPRESSIVE.  
CG: HIS VOICE OOZES OF COOLNESS AND CHARISMA.  
GC: SOUNDS L1K3 SOM3BODY H4S 4 CRUSH   
GC: H3H3H3H3H3!  
CG: SHUT IT PYROPE, THIS TROLL ISN’T SO EASY IMPRESSED BY ONLY ONE GOOD SCENE OF SOMEBODY.  
CT: D --> Is this an entire race of robots  
GC: Y3S, TH3 TR4NSFORM3RS 4R3 4 R4C3 OF ROBOTS  
CT: D --> You two should hoove informed me about this sooner.  
AG: You learn a8out it now and we learned a8out it only today so don’t sweat around horse8alls.  


  


  


CC: T)(ey use carrier pigeons?  
AG: Laser8eak is a very evolved one who can understand the other Transformers without pro8lem.  
GC: BUT NOT 4BL3 TO SP34K H1MS3LF FOR SOM3 STUP1D R34SON  
TA: Why ii2 that a22hole dii22iing the robot wiith the wiing2?  
AG: 8ecause Megatron has some issues with Starscream.  
TA: What ii22ue2?  
GC: ST4RSCR34M TR13S TO K1LL H1M 4LL TH3 T1M3 TO B3COM3 D3C3PT1CON L34D3R 1NST34D OF TH3 D3C3PT1CON L34D3R  
CT: D --> Is he a political rival who wants to undermine him with conspiracy and criticism  
AG: That and literally shooting him in the 8ack at every possi8le occasion.  
CG: BESIDES THE FACT THAT MEGATRON IS AN COMPLETE MORON FOR KEEPING THAT TRAITOROUS ASSHOLE ON HIS TEAM, WHY THE HELL DOES THAT BIRD TRANSFORM INTO A TAPE GOES INTO THAT OTHER ROBOT WHO TRANSFORMS INTO A BOOMBOX TO CONNECT TO THE SCREEN TO SHOW HIS FINDINGS?  
CG: SEEMS REDUNDANT TO ME.  
AA: Als0 tapes are a pretty 0ld medium t0 use  
AA: W0uldn’t it make m0re sense if that bird w0uld transf0rm int0 a USB-Stick 0r a SD-Card?  
AC: :33< Maybe that kind of technology wasn’t created at the time this movie was made?  
CA: It still seams jarrin from a modern perspectivve  
GA: I Can Imagine That The Authors Based The More Developed Transformer Technology On Human Technology   
GA: It Is More Developed But It Is Visually Based On The Gold Standard Of The 1980’s  


GA: An Impressive Entrance Of The Vicious Enemy  
CT: D --> It is very bold of them to attack like that.  
CA: They wwant to use the element of surfprise  
AA: A very deadly surprise  
CG: OH, PLEASE IF THIS SHIT-FEST IS REALLY A MOVIE FOR STUPID LITTLE WRIGGLER HOW HARSH CAN IT BE?  


AC: :33< Oh  
TA: Pretty brutal lookiing.  
CT: D --> This is an odd development for a human’s children moovie.  
AG: And suddenly Starscream 8ecame a 8adass!!!!!!!!  


CC: And t)(at robot was cooked from t)(e inside.  
CC: T)(is looks incredible painful!  
CC: Glub  
GC: 4ND FROM TH3 R4NKS OF TH3 CONSTRUCT1CONS SC4V3NG3R OF 4LL ROBOTS B3COM3S A B4D4SS TO T4K3 DOWN 4NOTH3R N4M3D CH4R4CT3R, PROWL!  
AT: wILL THAT SCAVENGER ROBOT BECOME IMPORTANT LATER IN THE MOVIE?  
AG: No, not really.  
GA: I Think This Is Very Unsuitable For Children To Watch  


GA: No Nothing Of This Is Something A Person Should Witness At A Young Age  
AA: But the acti0n in this scene is pretty g00d  
CA: And the music is excellent  
CA: Those robots are powwerful destructivve instruments  


TC: ThE rObOt MoThErFuCkEr GiVeS tHe OtHeR rObOt MoThErFuCkEr ThE cOuP dE gRâCe.  
CG: OKAY THIS IS RIDICULOUS.   
CG: WHY WOULD A MORONIC KID’S MOVIE INCLUDE THIS KIND OF BRUTAL VIOLENCE?   
CG: WHY AND HOW IS MEGATRON TRANSFORMING INTO A FUCKING HANDGUN THAT IS MUCH SMALLER THAN HIMSELF?  
AT: mAYBE HIS GUN-MODE IS MORE POWERFUL THAN THE WEAPONS OF HIS OTHER, uHH, sOLDIERS?  
AC: :33< But it decreases the number of firearms they can use  
TA: Al2o iif he can tran2form iintwo a powerful weapon wouldn’t iit be better iif he can 2hoot hiim2elf wiithout the help from another a22hole?  
TA: An a22hole at that who want2 two kiill hiim? 2eem2 liike a very 2tupiid decii2iion.  
AG: Stop to nitpick and enjoy you losers!!!!!!!!  
AA: But they are right th0se are legitimate pr0blems  
GC: TH3R3 1S N0 D0UBT TH4T TH3 F1RST W4V3 0F G3N3R4T10N 1 0F TH3 TR4NSF0RM3RS H4D 4 L0T 0F PR0BL3MS  
CT: D --> First Wave First Generation   
GT: D --> Are there more  
AG: A lot more. This movie is only the tip of the ice8erg.   
AG: There are a countless num8er of comics and manga, live-action movies, tons of toys, many animes and a lot of Western Anim8tion Series.  
AG: The newest series de8uted March 2015.  
CG: THIS BRAINSTORM OF SHIT IS THAT SUCCESSFUL?!  
CC: It is far from t)(e worst we ever saw.  
CC: And it is quite exiting!  
GA: I Have A Question   
GA Were Those Characters Who Meet Their Tragic Demise Popular  
AG: The names of them were 8rawn, Ironhide, Ratchet and Prowl and yes they had their fair share of fans, especially 8rawn.  
GA: I Deduce That Those Fans Were Very Unhappy About This Deadly Development  
GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3!   
GC: YOU C4N S4Y TH4T 4G41N  
CA: At least Megatrons plan seams to be logical   
CA: Usin the shuttle of the enemy to slip by the wwarnin systems for a surfprise attack is a soild plan  
CA: Evven if destroyin one important base doesn’t mean total vvictory in an instant  


AG: We interrupt our scene of 8adass fighting and 8rutal killings with a relaxing fishing trip.  
AC: :33< A purrtty harsh mood whiplash  
AA: Why is that R0b0t called H0t R0d fishing with the y0ung human named Daniel?  
GC: SO TH4T 3V3RY L1TTL3 HUM4N CH1LD C4N S33 HOW FUN 1T WOULD TO GO F1SH1NG W1TH 4 TR4NSFORM3R  
GC: TH4T L1TTL3 R4SC4L ST4NDS FOR 4LL TH3 CH1LDR3N 1N TH3 4UD13NC3  
GA: Did The Little Humans Had An Affection For Daniel  
AG: No, no8ody wants to see the human’s in this movie, they come for the ro8ots.  
AG: Human’s see other human’s every day, another intelligent species is way more interesting to watch for them.   
CT: D --> Are those robots eating plants, meat and fish like humans  
GC: NO, TH3Y DON’T  
CT: D --> Why would he want to catch fish then  
AT: i THINK HE DOES THAT TO ACCOMPANY THE LITTLE CHILD.   
AT: lOOK, hE THROWS THE FISH BACK AFTER CATCHING IT.  
CC: T)(at is )(orrible!  
CC: You s)(ould never catc)( fis)( t)(at wave for fun!  
CA: The wwound from the hook can be pretty searious   
CA: It cod die from blood loss after bein throen back  
CG: SO HE IS EITHER AN IGNORANT ASSHOLE WHO DOESN’T KNOW WHAT HE IS DOING OR HE IS A SADISTIC SHIT-STAIN OF AN ASSHOLE WHO LIKES TO TORTURE FISH.  
GC: OUR H3RO!  


TC: ThAt LiTtLe MoThErFuCkEr HaS mIrAcUlOuS fLyIn SkAtEbOaRd!  
TA: And that liittle a22hole get2 hiim2elf almo2t kiilled wiith iit.  
TA: Lucky hiim for haviing hii2 a22hole robot friiend on hii2 2iide who giive2 hiim a riide.  
CG: THAT FUCKER IS A FUCKING TERRIBLE SUPERVISOR TO LET THAT HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE.  
CG: THAT LITTLE ASSCRAP SHOULDN’T USE SUCH A DANGEROUS TOOL AT HIS AGE IN THE FIRST PLACE  


AA: H0t R0d destr0yed that sign and has alm0st driven 0ver that 0ld l00king r0b0t  
AT: i SUSPECT THAT THIS IS HERE TO TELL US THAT HE IS A RECKLESS YOUNG ROBOT FULL WITH REBELLIOUS, uHH, yOUTH.  
CG: I SUSPECT THAT THIS IS TELLING US THAT THIS FUCKING DICK HAS NO RESPECT FOR OTHER PEOPLES PROPERTY OR THEIR FUCKING LIFE’S!   
CG: SUFFERER, HE IS ONE BIG CRIMINAL DOUCHEBAG!  
CT: D --> Is that old robot a seasoned veteran of the Autobot-Decepticon conflict  
GC: Y3S  
CT: D --> That youngling should show him more respect.  
GA: This Robot Even Looks Old With The Wrinkles On His Face  
CG: WHY THE FUCKING HELL WOULD SOMEBODY BUILD A ROBOT WITH AN AGING PROGRESS?  
CG: IS IT TO CONFUSE THEIR FUCKING ENEMIES OR WHAT?  
AG: I don’t understand that myself. They are a8le to 8ecome several million years old without a change of their appearance.  
CG: FUCK! THAT GUY HAS TO BE ANCIENT!  
AC: :33< How high are the life expectancies of the Transfurmers?  
GC: NO, 1D34 4S F4R 4S 1 KNOW NO TR4NSFORM3R W4S 3V3R S33N DY1NG OF OLD 4G3 1N 4NY M3D1UM  
CA: WWouldn’t that lead to a reelly large ovverpopulation issue  
GA: It Is No Wonder That They Are In A Tremendous War With Each Other  


AG: (Megatron) “Starscream, go away from the hole in the ship or the Auto8ots will spot your sorry ass!!!!!!!!”  
GC: (Starscream) “OH, PL34S3! WH4T DO YOU TH1NK W1LL H4PP3N? M4YB3 4N 34RTH CH1LD W1LL S33 M3 FROM 4N OBS3RV4T1ON PO1NT THROUGH 4 T3L3SCOP3? DON’T B3 R1D1CULOUS! WHY SHOULD TH3 4UTOBOTS H4V3 SOM3TH1NG L1K3 TH4T 1N TH3 F1RST PL4C3? FOR TH3 TOUR1STS?”  
AT: hE IS PRETTY BRAVE ATTACKING THE ENEMY LIKE THAT WITHOUT HESITATION.  
CG: I THINK THAT HE IS A FUCKING IDIOT FOR ATTACKING A VEHICLE WHO HOLDS AN UNKNOWN AMOUNT OF COMBATANTS INSTEAD OF RADIOING THE BASE, WARNING THEM AND WAIT FOR ORDERS.   
CG: THAT FUCKTARD ISN’T BRAVE, HE IS RETARDED!  
AT: uHHH, aT LEAST HE WAS ABLE TO DESTROY THE SHIP.  
TA: Whiich briing2 the kiid iin iincrediible danger a2 the leader of the enemy blew up the ob2ervatiion poiint!  
AT: tHAT SHOWS THAT, uHH, hE STILL HAS MUCH TO LEARN?  
CC: )(is impulsive action got almost )(im and t)(at poor )(uman grub krilled!  
AT: eHM... WHATEVER I, uHH, lIKE HIM. HE SEEMS TO HAVE A LOT OF SELF-ESTEEM AND COURAGE.  
AT: hE DARES TO DO STUFF.  
AA: But he sh0uld think things thr0ugh at least a little bit  


GC: OLD BOT KUP TO TH3 R3SCU3!  
GC: SHOW1NG TH3 YOUNG PUNK HOW TO F1GHT  
CG: HE IS A COMPETENT FIGHTER AND CALLS OUT THAT ASSHOLE FOR HIS RECKLESS ACTIONS.   
CG: I LIKE THAT OLD CURMUDGEON ALREADY.  
CA: This Decepticon can transform into a plane and a tank  
CA: VVery useful  
CA: Evven if he seams so lightwweight that this small insect lookin robot has enough mass to turn him upside as he collided wwith him  
AG: His name is 8litzwing 8y the way and he is a triple changer.   
AG: The colleague he accidentally shot down (courtesy of Kup) is Shrapnel from the Su8group of the Insecticons.  
TC: HaS eVeRy SiNgLe Of ThIs MoThErFuCkErS a NaMe?  
AG: Yes, even the minor- and most of the 8ackground characters.   
AG: This is the continu8tion of a series after all.  
GA: You Connote That This Is Made More For The Fans Of The Series Am I Correct Question Mark  
GC: 1N 4 S3NS3 Y3S, BUT DON’T WORRY W3 4R3 H3R3 TO H3LP YOU  


TA: 2o, that a22hole named Perceptor tran2form2 iintwo a miicro2cope?   
TA: Not all that u2eful iin a battle 2iituatiion.  
TC: BuT hE cAn SeE oThEr MoThErFuCkErS fRoM fAr AwAy WiTh It.  
CA: WWhich is made superfluous because that female Transformer named Acree has special vvisors wwhich can be used as binoculars plus an alt-mode   
CA: He is useless here  
GC: H3 1S 4 CYB3RTRON14N SC13NT1ST 4ND MOR3 OF 4 SC13NT1F1C 4DV1SOR TH4N 4 SOLD13R  
CT: D --> In that case he should be in a lab and not on the battlefield.  
CG: FUCK, THAT BLURR GUY TALKS FAST!  
CG: HOW MUCH COFFEE DID HE DRINK BEFORE THE START OF THE BATTLE?  
AC: :33< That Ultra Magnus Robot orders him to help him alert the others?  
AC: :33< Do the other Autobots have such a sound sl33p that even the noise of a giant battle wouldn’t wake them up or what?  
CC: Ultra Magnus is pretty clam and )(e seams to be )(eads-up during t)(is crisis. A good leader in a tense situation!  
CC: Glub glub glub  


CT: D --> Uh....  
CT: D --> Such ingenuity, such incredible art of engineering... And those robots are all so STRONG  
CT: D --> I need a towel.  
AC: :33< Here Equius  
CT: D --> Thank you Nepeta.   
CA: I wwondered aboat howw lon he cod hold it  
AG: 8ut it is rather 8ad design that they have to initi8 part of the transform8tion sequences outside of the city and then have to haul ass to get into it 8efore all the doors close.  
GC: 4ND ST4RSCR34M SHOOTS H1MS3LF 1N H1S FOOT B3C4US3 H3 M1SJUDG3D TH3 S1TU4T1ON.  
CG: NOT FOR TH3 F1RST T1M3 1 M1GHT 4D  
AA: It was pr0bably painful and the first time he his jarring way 0f speak is justified   
AA: Still it is surprisingly endearing in a weird way  
GC: TH4T 1S CHR1S L4TT4 4L14S ST4RSCR34M FOR YOU!  


TC: ThE bUg BrOtHeRs HaVe A pReTtY bIg ApPeTiTe.  
CA: A big lasercannon is knot able to get thruff the door but the Insecticons can eat it   
CA: My cod their jawws havve to be incredible stron  
GA: Overrun And Has Its Skull Crushed   
GA: That Insectbot Is Dead  
GC: NO, H3 1S NOT  
GA: How Can That Be Possible  
GC: B3C4US3 TH3R3 1S NOT MUCH TO CRUSH 1N TH4T SKULL, H3H3H3H3  
GA: I Understand  
AT: tHEIR ATTACK IS RELENTLESS. THE DECEPTICONS REALLY HATE THE AUTOBOTS, bUT WHY?  
AG: The Decepticons are giant assholes and want to destroy or rule over everything and the Auto8ots don’t want that happen.  
CG: THAT IS A FUCKING SIMPLE REASON TO WAGE A RETARDED WAR.  
AG: That is the actual st8 of affairs at the moment in this version of the mythos.   
AG: 8ut l8r on in the series they expl8n that it is part of their very nature.  
TA: That 2ound2 2iilly.  
GA: The Overpopulation Could Have Something To Do With It  


AC: :33< Are Soundwave and Blaster the respective Lusus of the little Transfurmers who live in their chests?  
AG: Mayyyyyyyy8e...   
AG: The exact nature of their 8ond is never m8de clear 8ut it seems that they have a very close rel8tionship.  
AC: :33< I find it very cute! I would like to do that with my friends!  
GC: GOG, PLEASE NO!  
CC: T)(e two )(uman looking Cassette-Robots are first red-black and t)(en one of t)(em becomes blue.   
CC: W)(at is going on wit)( t)(eir colour-sc)(emes?  
GC: DON’T  
AG: ASK!!!!!!!!  
GC: 1 4ND VR1SK4 4RGU3D FOR HOURS WH4T TH3 TRU3 COLOURS OF FR3NZY 4ND RUMBL3 4R3   
GC: W3 DON’T W4NT TO R3P34T TH4T W1TH 4NYON3 3LS3  
AA: They are pretty vici0us little fighters  
CT: D --> Or Perceptor is really bad at fighting.  
CT: D --> He should go to a lab and do research, far away from the battlefield.  
CA: Maybe his lab is in Autobot-City  
CT: D --> Could be the case  


CG: DOES BLURR ALWAYS TALK SO FAST?  
AG: Yeah, he does that.  
GC: H1S VO1C3 4CTOR 1S C4LL3D JOHN MOSCH1TT4 JR 4ND H3 1S TH3 F4ST3ST T4LK1NG M4N ON 34RTH  
CG: NOT HARD TO BELIEVE.  
CC: This movie has a lot of good voice actors, right?  
GC: SOM3 4R3 W3LL KNOWN C3L3BR1T13S, OTH3RS 4R3 W3LL KNOWN PROF3SS1ON4L VO1C3 4CTORS.   
GC: TH3 FORM3R PL4Y TH3 N3W CH4R4CT3RS 1NTRODUC3D 1N TH1S MOV13  
AG: Optimus Prime is voiced 8y professional voice actor Peter Cullen, Professional voice actor Frank Welker voices Megatron, Soundwave and a 8unch of other characters, Kup is voiced 8y Lionel Stander, Hot Rod is voiced 8y Judd Nelson, Ultra Magnus is voiced 8y Charles Ro8ert Langford Modini Stack.  


  


TC: MoRe MoThErFuCkIn CoRpSeS!  
CG: WHAT IS THIS MOVIES FUCKING PROBLEM?!   
CG: DIDN’T THEY SCARE THE GRUBS IN THE AUDIENCE ENOUGH AT THIS POINT?  
AG: The 8est is yet to come!!!!!!!! ::::::::)  
GC: TH31R N4M3S W3R3 WH33LJ4CK 4ND W1NDCH4RG3R TH3 FORM3R W4S TH3 CR34TOR OF TH3 D1NOBOTS 4 SUB-GROUP OF TH3 4UTOBOTS  
GA: It Appears That They Should Drive The Artillery And Not Shove It Around  
TA: Maybe thii2 ii2 a piiece of 2hiit that ii2 really horriible two driive and thii2 way iit get2 fa2ter iintwo po2iitiion?  
CG: AND WHAT IS THAT LITTLE IDIOT OF A GRUB DOING HERE? DOES HE REALLY FUCKING THINK THAT HIS SHIT-SQUIB PIECE CONTRIBUTION IS ALL THAT HELPFUL? NO, PUSHING AGAINST THAT MACHINE IS NOT HELPFUL AT ALL!   
CG: NOT TO MENTION THAT ASSHOLE HOT ROD, THAT IRRESPONSIBLE HEAP OF STEEL SHOULD HAVE HIM BROUGHT AS FAR AWAY FROM THE FIGHTING AS POSSIBLE AND NOT NEAR IT! DANIEL SHOULD BE WITH HIS LUSUS, IN A SAFETY ROOM OR BOTH AND NOT AT THE FUCK-AS-DANGEROUS FRONTLINE!  
GA: Hot Rod Bickers With The Only Female Acree   
GA: This Means That The Two Are Either Friends Or In A Matespritship  
CG: WHEN IN DOUBT YOU CAN ASSUME THAT ARE FEMALE AND MALE THAT ARE NOT BLOOD RELATED OR ENEMIES IN A HUMAN MOVIE HAVE A FLUSHED RELATIONSHIP.   
CG: I HATE IT THAT HUMANS ONLY USE THE FUCKING RED QUADRANT WHEN IT COMES TO MALE AND FEMALE RELATIONSHIP IN THE HUMAN MEDIA INSTEAD OF ANY OTHER QUADRANT OR NO QUADRANT AT ALL!   
CG: IT IS A FUCKING WASTE!  


CT: D --> This machine... This Devastator... He is so STRONG... So incredible STRONG  
AG: And he t8kes no8odies shit!!!!!!!!   
AG: (Devastator) “You try to destroy me with your puny artillery Auto8ots????????   
AG: (Devastator) Talk to this g8 and may it explode in your stupid f8ces!!!!!!!!”.  
GC: D3V4ST4TORS 1S FORM3D BY TH3 M3MB3RS OF TH3 CONSTRUCT1CON-SUBGROUP TH3Y 4R3 M4ST3R BU1LD3RS, D3S1GN3RS 4ND FOR3MOST 3NG1N33RS OF TH3 D3C3PT1CON 4RMY  
GC: TH3Y W3R3 4LSO TH3 V3RY F1RST KNOWN COMB1N3R T34M 1N TR4NSFORM3RS H1STORY  
CA: They are engineers   
CA: Then they shouldn’t be at the front  
TC: BuT tHoSe LiTtLe MoThErFuCkErS cOmBiNe To ThE bIg StRoNg MoThErFuCkEr To WoRk TeRrIbLe MiRaClEs UpOn ThEiR eNeMiEs.  
TC: ThE dEcEpTiCoNs NeEd ThEm In BaTtLe.  
CA: They shouldn’t make their engineers so vvaluable for battle situations in the first plaice   
CA: This is so idiotic  
AG: 8ut it is still awesome!!!!!!!!  
CT: D --> What is their backstory  
GC: TH3Y 4R3 D3C3PT1CONS WHO BU1LD M3G4TRON M1LL1ONS OF Y34RS 4GO TH3N TH3Y W3R3 4UTOBOTS WHO GOT BR41NW4SH3D BY M3G4TRON 1NTO B3COM1NG D3C3PT1CONS TH3N M3G4TRON BU1LD TH3 CONSTRUCT1CONS ON 34RTH  
AT: tHAT STORY MADE NO SENSE.   
GC: 1 KNOW BUT 1T H4PP3N3D TH4T W4Y 1N TH3 F1RST W3ST3RN 4N1M4T1ON S3R13S  


AT: tHE BATTLE RAGES THE ENTIRE NIGHT AND IN THE END THE DEFENSES ARE BROKEN.  
AT: tHIS LOOKS GRIM FOR THE AUTOBOTS.  
TC: ThE mOtHeRfUcKiN aUtObOtS nEeD a MiRaClE nOw.  
AA: Wh0ever wins is meaningless but the c0rpse party after that will be epic!  


AG: And the favourites enter the arena, the mighty and dangerous Dino8ots!!!!!!!!  
GC: TH3Y JUMP OUT OF TH3 SHUTTL3 4ND 4TT4CK TH3 T3RR1BL3 D3V4ST4TOR 4ND H3 G1V3S TH3M 4 GOOD F1GHT!  
AG: Grimlock tries a 8ody slam 8ut Devastator kicks him away and then uses his fists like a hammer to send Sludge to the ground and then 8ends him over his head!!!!!!!!  
GC: 4ND NOW SL4G 4TT4CKS D3V4ST4TOR WHO THROWS 4W4Y H1S OTH3R 3N3MY BUT SL4GS R4MS H1M 4G41NST TH3 W4LL 4ND NOW 1T 1S SWOOPS TURN  
AG: 8ut Devastator has some strength left in him despite a entire day and night of 8attle and he man8ges to 88t Swoop to the ground.   
AG: 8ut it seems that he is too weak to continue the fight for now. Also Snarl is not with his team for some reason. May8e he had an appointment with his dentist?  
GC: 4NOTH3R F4NT4ST1C F1GHT H3R3 1N “ROBOT RUMBL3 R4MP4G3!”  


CG: HOLY SHIT!   
CG: THAT IS ONE BADASS ENTRANCE FOR THE HERO INTO THE ACTION!   
CG: BUT WHERE DID THAT TRAILER COME FROM AFTER PRIME TRANSFORMED INTO A TRUCK AND WHERE DID IT GO AFTER HE TRANSFORMED BACK?  
CG: IT ISN’T A PART OF HIS BODY.  
GC: NOBODY KNOWS B3L13V3 M3 1 4ND VR1SK4 S34RCH3D FOR OFF1C14L 4NSW3R BUT TH3R3 1S NON3  
TA: Ha2 he leviitatiion power2? He u2ed a rocket boo2t two fly iintwo the aiir but gliidiing that way through the aiir 2houldn’t be po22iible wiithout 2ome kiind of flyiing abiiliity.  
AC: :33< Whatever, he has the touch! The song is saying so, and that touch s33ms tabby purrtty cool  
AA: And what is that “Touch”?  
AC: :33< No idea, but it makes you a fantastic purrson!  
CA: He is a pretty good wwarrior   
CA: He culled many of the enemies  
AG: No, they are aaaaaaaall out of commission 8ut no8ody of them is dead.  
CA: Howw is that possible Many of the Autobots died as they got shoot but none the Decepticons  
CA: That is nonsense  
GC: 1 H4V3 TO 4GR33 W1TH LORD F1SH F4LL4CY ON TH1S ON3   
GC: 1T WOULD H4V3 M4D3 TH3 TH1NG 4 L1TTL3 MOR3 R34L1ST1C 1F 4T L34ST 4 F3W OF TH3 D3C3PT1CONS WOULD H4V3 D13D DUR1NG TH3 B4TTL3 OF 4UTOBOT-C1TY  


AT: oNE SHALL STAND, oNE, uHH, sHALL FALL?  
AT: tHAT IS A RATHER, uHH, oBVIOUS RESULT IN A FIGHT TO THE DEATH MOST OF THE TIME.  
CG: I WISH I HAD A ONE-LINER THAT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD BEFORE WE FOUGHT THE BLACK KING.  
CC: I remember t)(at you quoted )(er Imperial Condescension t)(at day.  
CC: “Yo a)( will fuq you beotc)( up an' a)( will turn you into goldfis)( fodder you mad stupid weakling yo yea)( Jus' pike Orent)(awl James!”.   
CC: Knot t)(e most elegant one-liner you cod )(ave c)(osen.  
CG: DON’T REMIND ME, PLEASE!  


GA: Huh Dot Dot Dot   
GA: This Is A Very Well Made Battle Scene Between Two Archenemies  
AA: Did Megatr0n st0le that Lightsaber fr0m a Jedi?  
TC: WoW, hIs ThRoWiNg ArM iS lIkE iNcReDiBlE pIeRcInG!   
TC: He ShOuLd CoNsIdEr A cArEeR aS a PiTcHeR!   
CG: HE WANTS TO RIP OUT OPTIMUS’S FUCKING EYES?!   
CG: SURE WHY NOT, THIS MOVIE WAS STILL MISSING SOME FUCKING HARDCORE GORE BESIDES ALL THOSE GRAPHIC DEATH SCENES!  
AG: Yes, let your fist do the talking Prime!!!!!!!!   
AG: What is a Lightsa8er ag8nst good old fisticuffs anyhow????????!!!!!!!!  
TC: D --> I... I... AAAAAAH!  
AC: :33< Equius noooooooooooooooo!  
AA: O_O  
GC: WH4T H4PP3N3D?  
GC: DON’T TELL US, BY THE LOVE OF GOG DON’T TELL US!  
AA: Your intuition already told you what happened Karkat.  
CG: I DON’T NEED A CONFIRMATION!  


CC: )(e is trying to deceit )(im!  
CC: Be careful!  
AC: :33< That big lump of metal could never manage to trick me with such a move  
GA: As Long As Nothing Unexpected Happens Either Of Them Could Shoot First  


CG: HOT ROD YOU FUCKING SHITDIOT, KUP SAID TO STAY OUT OF THE WAY!   
CG: BUT NO, YOU HAD TO TRY AND BE THE HERO YOU FUCKING WASTREL!  
CG: NOW YOU GOT YOUR LEADER SHOT YOU FUCKING MORON, YOU BRAIN-DEAD LIGHTBULB, BARREL BURSTER, GESSO GARTER, REPULSIVE RATCATCHER, CRANBERRY CROCK, METAL MUNCHKIN!  
AA: 0_0   
AA: Are y0u 0kay Karkat?  
GC: NO, EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT, DON’T WORRY ABOUT ME!   
AG: Ah, hahahahahaha!   
AG: You are totally in love with Prime!  
CG: SHUT YOUR PROTEIN CHUTE SERKET!  
GC: K33P C4LM KN1GHT OF BLOOD   
GC: 1 C4N SHOW YOU TH3 F1RST TR4NSFORM3RS 4N1M4T3D S3R13S 4FT3R TH3 MOV13 1S OV3R 1F YOU W4NT  


GC: YES! THAT IS HOW A BADASS DOES IT! TAKE NOTES DUMB ROD.  
TA: No.  
CC: W)(at "no"?  
TA: He had two 2aw the attack from the truck robot comiing, why diidn’t he pull the triigger?  
AG: 8ecause of the sheer awesomeness that Optimus radi8d in that moment paralyzed Megatron and m8de him una8le to shoot him!!!!!!!!  
TA: Thad doe2nt make any 2en2e.  
CT: D --> He punched him down to the ground despite his grave wounds... Such a STRONG robot... I...  
AC: :33< Equius k33p it together! We just finished cleaning!  
CT: D --> I apologise.  


GC: (Hot Rod) “OPT1MUS FORG1V3 M3“  
AG: (Optimus Prime) “I forgive you my son 8ut the fans will never do the same.”  


  


GC: JUST TO B3 CL34R: 1F M3G4TRON 4ND ST4RSCR34M W3R3 1N 4 BL4CK R3L4T1ONSH1P 1T WOULD B3 4 V3RY UNH34LTHY ON3  
CA: No good Kismesis wwould kick his partner wwhale they are droen   
CA: They wwould scream at em to get up insult em aboat bein beaten and then get em to safety to treat their wwounds  
AG: Awwwwwwww, you remem8er! ::::::::)  
CC: Maybe t)(ey are in a un)(ealt)(y black relations)(ip and t)(at is t)(e reason Megatron tolerates Starscream?  
GC: COULD B3 TH3 C4S3, BUT 1 HOP3 TH4T 1SN’T 1T  
GA: (Soundwave [singing]) “Bittersweet Memories  
GA: (Soundwave [singing]) That Is All Im Taking With Me  
GA: (Soundwave [singing]) So Goodbye Please Dont Cry  
GA: (Soundwave [singing]) We Both Know Im Not What You You Need  
GA: (Soundwave [singing]) And I Will Always Love You  
GA: (Soundwave [singing]) I Will Always Love You You  
AG: (Megatron) “Eh........ I like you too Soundwave........“  
TC: SoUnDbRo SeEmS tO bE lIkE tOtAlLy LoYaL aNd DeVoTeD tO mEgAtRoN.  
AC: :33< Purrhaps he is Megatron’s moirail and he will rescue him out of hiss abusive black relationship with Starscream!  
CG: A CLASSIC AND BELOVED CONCEPT FOR A PALE STORY, I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THAT HAPPEN WITH THOSE THREE.  


CG: FUCK, YOU CAN’T FUCKING DIE OPTIMUS!   
CG: THE SITUATION THAT BUTTHOLE LORD CHUMLEY FORCED YOU INTO ONCE WAS FUCKING WORSE THAN THIS!  
CG: WHY DID THEY ALL HAD TO DIE?!  
AT: uHH, wHO IS LORD CHUMLEY?  
AT: i DON’T REMEMBER SOMEBODY WITH THAT NAME BEING IN THE MOVIE.  
GC: H3 W4S 1N ON3 OF TH3 3P1SOD3S FROM TH3 F1RST W3ST3RN 4N1M4T1ON S3R13S BUT H3 D1DN’T 4PP34R 1N TH3 MOV13  
GC: W41T  
AG: You watched the first series too!!!!!!!!  
AG: Why didn’t you tell????????  
CC: EH... I DON’T WATCH THE SERIES I ONLY READ THAT WITH LORD CHUMLEY SOMEWHERE ON ACCIDENT.  
GC: TH3 C4T 1S OUT OF TH3 B4G K4RK4T, NO CH4NC3 TO H1D3 1T 4NYMOR3  
CG: SOME OF US HAVE FUCKING RESERVATIONS IF IT COMES TO LIKING STUPID AS HELL SILLY SHOWS ABOUT GOG DAMN TRANSFORMING ROBOTS BEATING THE FUCK OUT OF EACH OTHER IN COMPARISON TO YOU SCOURGES!  
CT: D --> You don't hoove to be ashamed for liking the Transformers.  
CC: T)(is scene is SO sad!  
CA: It is wwhale shot but maybe a little ovverdramatic  
GA: Optimus Is The Main Character And Very Beloved By His Fellow Autobos   
GA: I Assume That This The Correct Amount Of Drama And Sadness For This Event  


TC: WhOa!  
TC: ThAt MoThErFuCkIn GlOwIn BaLl Is FuLl Of MiRtH aNd MiRaClE!  
TC: It Is A mUlTiDiMeNsIoNaL tReAsUrE tRoVe Of MaGiC aNd EnLiGhTeNmEnT!  
CA: Translation: It glowws pretty meanin it is important for the plot  
TA: The Matriix ii2 fiilled two the briim wiith the force.  
GC: 1T 1SN’T 3X4CTLY L1K3 TH3 FORC3  
TA: Ye2, the force ii2n’t concentrated iin the tor2o of one guy. IIt wa2 very iirre2pon2iible from hiim that he took thii2 wiith hiim iintwo a battle.   
TA: He ii2 very lucky that the Matriix wa2n’t de2troyed a2 Optiimu2 wa2 riiddled wiith la2erfiire.  
AA: And the Aut0b0t Matrix 0f Leadership is als0 the afterlife f0r the Transf0rmers?   
AA: D0es that mean that he transp0rted all the Transf0rmers wh0 have died ar0und in his chest?  
AA: W0uld all the gh0sts 0f the dead Transf0rmers fl00d the material realm if it gets destr0yed?   
AA: S0unds exciting!  
AG: They had just 8egun to develop all those concepts.  
AG: Explan8tions what the actual afterlife (the Allspark) and what the Matrix of Leadership exactly were came l8r.  
AT: bUT WITHOUT THE EXACT EXPLANATIONS ALL OF THIS SOUNDS RATHER STRANGE.  
AC: :33< Does every Transfurmer has a compartment in its chest fur the Matrix of Leadership?  
AC: :33< Or do they have them to stash anything they want in it?  
CC: (Ultra Magnus) “Darn, now I )(ave to put my sweets elsew)(ere!”  


CG: OPTIMUS!  
GA: This Was Very Touching Too Witness  
GA: I Feel Sorrow In My Heart  
CG: OPTIMUS.  
AA: They sh0uld be happy they can thr0w an even bigger c0rpse party n0w!  
CG: OPTIMUS...   
TC: WhY iS hE bEcOmIn GrEy? ThE oThEr KiLlEd TrAnSfOrMeRs DiDn’t ChAnGeD tHeIr RaD cOlOuRs AfTeR dEaTh.  
TA: Riight, that ii2 2trange.  
GC: 1 TH1NK TH3Y 4DD3D TH4T FOR 4NOTH3R 3MOT1ON4L BLOW TO TH3 GRUBS 1N TH3 4UD13NC3  
CG: OPTIMUS....  
AG: At least he died a hero’s d8th.   
AG: He died like the gr8 Transformer he was.  
CG: Optimus...  
GA: Karkat Do You Feel Well Question Mark  
CC: Your quirk is getting normal.  


–carcinoGeneticist [GC] left memo–

CA: Kar, what is going on?  
GA: I Am Very Proximal To Karkat   
GA: I Think He Is Crying  
GC: WH4T?!  
AC: :33< Poor Karkitty  
CC: )(e reelly piked Optimus Prime.  
GA: I Will Go And Try To Calm His Sorrowful Mind  


–grimAuxiliatrix [GA] left memo–

TA: Do you guy2 thiink that he may need comfort from hii2 be2t friiend too?  
AA: It w0uld pr0bably the right thing t0 d0  
TA: Gog damniint!  


–twinArmageddons [TA] left memo–

CT: D --> What now  
AT: sOMETHING LIKE THIS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE.  
AG: I always thought that you would 8e the first running out of the movie stream crying Tavros.   
AG: I’m impressed that this isn’t the case. ::::)  
AT: tHANK YOU, uHHH, i GUESS?  
CC: I t)(ink we s)(ould wait until t)(e otters return.  
CC: Maybe )(e will be in t)(e mood to continue t)(e movie wit)( us.  
AC: :33< He s33med really upset Do you think it was too much fur him?  
CA: He saww me krillin Feferi and Kanaya before his eyes he wwill get ovver the death of Prime in no time  
CC: Did you )(ADDOCK to mention t)(at?  
CA: Ah come on Fef   
CA: I thought it wwas wwater under the bridge by noww  
GC: ST1LL NO R34SON TO R3M1ND 3V3RYON3 1N SUCH 4 C4SU4L M4NN3R, LORD R3G1C1D3  
CA: WWaterevver  
GC: 4NYW4Y, 1 TOO TH1NK W3 SHOULD W41T FOR TH3 OTH3RS  
AG: Okay, 8ut when they took too long we will continue without them.  
AA: What c0uld we d0 until they return?  
TC: We CoUlD pLaY tEaM fOrTrEsS 2.  
AG: I didn’t thought your sopor infested 8r8n could came up with a good idea.  
TC: ThAnKs SpIdErSiS. :0)  
GC: BUT B3FOR3 W3 DO TH4T:  


AC: :33< Who is that old man?  
AC: :33< And shouldn’t he go to the doctor with hiss jaundice?  
GC: H3 1S SOM3 F4MOUS R1CH P3RSON   
GC: 1 DON’T KNOW MUCH 4BOUT H1M BUT 1 R34D TH4T H3 W4S ONC3 SHOT BY 4 B4BY  
TC: D --> What an odd story.  
AA: D0 we even have a l0bby?  
GC: 1 CONV1NC3D TH3 M4YOR TO OP3N ON3  
CA: Well, what are we waiting for?  


==========================================================================================

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Constructive criticism is welcome. I think I got a little carried away with the pictures. I simply had to say a lot of stuff to the say which happened in this part of the movie.  
> I will try to write the next chapters faster.
> 
> The old Transformer Cartoons had some very strange and stupid stuff in it but it was fairly advanced for its time and the voice acting was one of the finest in its day. Never underestimate the importance of a good voice actor, everyone should give them credit for their work.
> 
> The idea of Karkat liking Optimus that much is also meant as a reflection of how so many young children love him and he reflected also their feelings as they saw him die.  
> The idea that Karkat was watching the first two seasons of the original Western Animation Transformers Series from 1984 came to me as I searched for an explanation why he would like Optimus Prime in such a short amount of time.
> 
> Until next time!


	2. The Birth of Galvatron (Dying to be replaced with yourself)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat calms down and more popular Transformer die.

========================================================================================

AG: Is every8ody 8ack?  
AA: I am  
AA: The p0pc0rn tastes really g00d  
AC: :33< All those fireflies gave the lobby a great atmosfure  
GC: 4ND H3 3V3N H4D STR4WB3RR13S!  
TC: AnD hE hAs FaYgO iN eVeRy KnOwN fLaVoUr!  
CC: But did you )(ave to buy a bottle every s)(ingle one?  
TC: YeS.  
CC: -Even t)(e one t)(at )(as dis)(water flavour?  
TC: I’M oPeN tO nEw ThInGs.  
CC: You also plan to drink t)(e Faygo wit)( t)(e flavour of old engine oil?  
TC: YoU dOn’t KnOw If YoU lIkE iT iF yOu DoN’T tAsTe It.  
CC: I sea your point but you R-E-ELLY s)(ouldn’t drink t)(e Faygo mixed wit)( t)(e stuff Vriska brufft back from t)(e inside of t)(at )(orrorterror.  
TC: BuT sHe WoRkEd VeRy HaRd To SlAy ThAt HoRrOrTeRrOr! I wIlL hOnOr HeR tHrOuGh DrInInK tHiS hOrRoRtErRoR fLaVoUrEd FaYgO.  
CC: )(ow does it taste?  
TC: ...  
CC: Gamzee?  
TC: ....  
CC: Are you okay?  
TC: But yes my dearest Heiress, future empress of all Alternians. I feel quite well.   
CC: Come again?  
TC: Everything is alright. I never felt better. My mind is strong and clear like waterfall.  
CC: W)(at? )(ow? You don’t act pike you are insane, you can’t be sober!  
TC: But I am my aquatic friend.  
TC: I have the theory that the arcane ingredients from the Horrorterrors were able to heal my mind not only from the effects of the Sopor but also from the destructive and insane mind-set most of my caste seems to possess.  
CC: T)(at are good news!  
CC: Glub  
GC: W1LL 1T B3 P3RM4N3NT?  
TC: I have to inform you my friends that I didn’t hold the knowledge about the long-term consequences of this Horrorterror flavoured Faygo.  
AC: :33< How Unfurtunate  
CT: D --> You could give a sample of this Faygo Type to Rose. She may be able to analyse it.  
TC: Capital idea my horse-loving friend!  
TC: Now let us play Team Fortress 2 my dear friends until the others return with the bearer of the beautiful Cancer symbol.  


The 9 Trolls played Team Fortress 2 until the heard a familiar beeping sound.

–grimAuxiliatrix [CG] joined memo–

GA: I Announce My Recurrence  
GA: I hope It Didn’t Took Too Much Time.  
CC: Na)(, it is alrig)(t.  
CC: -Eridan is losing big time wit)( t)(e Demoman.  
CA: He has only one eye it is not my fault he is so bad at shootin the enemy  
GC: TH4T DO3SN’T M34N TH4T YOU H4V3 NO D3PTH P3RC3PT1ON  
GC: B3S1D3S: 1’M BL1ND 4ND 1 H4V3 TH3 MOST K1LLS 4T TH3 MOM3NT  
GA: Karkat Will Return To Watch The Movie Until Its Conclusion  
CT: D --> E%cellent timing, this round will end in a minute  


–twinArmageddons [AG] joined memo–

TA: IIm back.  
TA: How bad wa2 Eriidan lo2iing exactly?  
AT: lAST PLACE,  
AT: lAST PLACE SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE MATCH,  
CA: Just wwait I wwill turn the tables soon enough  
GC: 4ND YOU H4V3 ST1LL 10 S3CONDS T1M3 4ND NOW 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0  
AG: Everyone wins, except Eridan.  
CA: I wwill wwinn next time do you hear me   
CA: Next time  


–carcinoGeneticist [AG] joined memo–

CG: I’M BACK AND I DON’T WANT TO HEAR A SINGLE FUCKING WORD!  
TC: This wasn’t the first time you cried about something my hot tempered friend.  
CG: THIS IS A DIFFERENT AND DIFFICULT TOPIC FOR ME SO NOBODY SHOULD PUSH ME ABOUT IT AND ASK ME ANY QUESTIONS   
CG: GOT IT YOU ASSHOLES?  
TC: Of course Karkat I will respect your wish.  
CG: WAIT.   
CG: WHAT THE FUCK?   
CG: WHAT THE HOLY FUCK?!   
CG: GAMZEE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU?   
CG: YOUR QUIRK IS GONE AND YOU SEEM ARE FRIENDLY AND CONSIDERD.  
AG: He drank something I got out of a horrorterror.  
AG: Don’t know if it is permanent or not.  
CG: OF COURSE ONLY YOU GAMZEE WOULD BE SO FUCKING STUPID TO DRINK STUFF FROM THE HORRENDOUS INSIDES OF INDESCRIBABLE GOGS!  
TC: I have to agree with you and after my change I can’t hardly believe that I thought to drink the insides of a horrorterror was a fine idea.  
TC: Even if it has cleared my thoughts but I couldn’t know that this fortunate transformation would occur.  
CG: EH...  
CG: VERY WELL GAMZEE.  
GC: L3T US CONT1NU3 W1TH TH3 MOV13 4LR34DY 1N PROGR3SS  


GA: Unicron Seems To Be Displeased With The Current Events Likewise As You Karkat  
CG: THAT PLANETARY MUNCHER KNOWS WHAT A GOOD CHARACTER IS.   
TA: He ha2 moniitor2 two 2py on people but how diid he manage two iin2tall a camera iin the mediical bay of Autobot-Ciity wiithout anyone notiiciing that?  
AG: 8ecause it is more of a magical way monitoring people than a technological one.  
AG: No need for cameras.  
CA: You don’t wwant to tell me that this giant planet eatin planet is a wwizard  
GC: NO  
GC: H3 1S 4 GOD  
AT: a, uHH, gOD?  
AA: (Unicr0n) I have existed fr0m the m0rning 0f the universe and I shall exist until the last star falls fr0m the night   
AA: (Unicr0n) Alth0ugh I have taken the f0rm 0f a planet dev0uring asshole I am all transf0rmer as I am n0 transf0rmer and theref0re I am a G0d  


CG: THE FUCKING AUTOBOTS WERE SO BAD AT KILLING THEM THAT THOSE MORONIC DECEPTICONS HAVE TO DO IT THEMSELVES!  
CG: THEY LOST THE BATTLE BUT THAT DUBIOUS DUMMY STARSCREAM HAD TO RUIN THEIR RATE OF ZERO CASUALTIES INSTEAD OF LOOKING FOR AN ALTERNATE SOLUTION FIRST!   
GA: They Took The Effort And Risk Upon Themselves To Rescue Their Injured Comrades And Now They Get Rid Of Them Without A Second Thought   
GA: Quite Paradox  
TA: They don’t even look around for 2ome u2ele22 2hiit to get riid off.before deciidiing that murderiing theiir comrade2 ii2 the be2t way.two liighten theiir tran2port.   
TA: 2eriiou2ly, what the 2hiit?!  
AG: The strong have to cull the weak to survive.   
AG: 8ut even I wonder if this was necessary.  
CA: Are you goin soft Serket  
AG: Should we ever land in a situ8tion like this you will 8e the first person to 8e thrown out Ampora.  
CA: You can’t do that   
CA: Our friends wwould nevver let you do that  
AG: Guys?  
CG: NOBODY OF YOU WILL ANSWER THIS QUESTION!  
CG: WE WILL THROW OUR CLOTHES OVERBOARD TO LIGHTEN THE SHIP BEFORE WE DITCH ANYONE ELSE!  
CA: I agree wwith that plan  


GA: (Megatron) “My Boss Is In Danger Of Dying”   
GA: (Megatron) “Should I Rescue Him Question Mark”  
GA: (Megatron) “No I Will Not Even Raise Any Objection As He Is Thrown Out Of The Space Train”  
TA: How Loyal Wa2 Thii2 A22hole 2uppo2ed Two Be Agaiin  
GC: TH3 MOST LOY4L D3C3PT1CON TH4T 3V3R L1V3D, NOBODY 1S MOR3 LOY4L TO M3G4TRON TH4N H1M  
TC: But he still lets him die?  
CA: He can’t succeed against the wwill of the group  
GC: H3 D1DN’T 3V3N SHOUT “OBJ3CT1ON!”  
GC: BUT NO H3 DO3SN’T 4CT 4S USU4L FOR SOM3 R34SON  
AG: Look at his f8ce guys!   
AG: Look at Starscreams fucking f8ce!   
AG: That expression is so smug it out-smugs the twelve most smug people in the multiverse!  
CG: DOES THAT INCLUDE YOU SERKET?  
AG: Did I ever tried to usurp your position through murdering you Vantas?  
CT: D --> A%ording to Alternian Law that would be appropriate in certain circumstances.  
AC: :33< Equius, don’t say that!  
AC: :33< :33< Vriskers wouldn’t kill Karkat.  
AA: Megatr0n killed the leader 0f the enemy and several Aut0b0t s0ldiers died in this battle while n0 Deceptic0n perished  
AA: He may have l0st the battle in the end and g0t badly w0unded but he pr00fed his w0rth   
AA: He is neither weak n0r useless   
AA: Als0 we d0n’t kn0w if his injuries are fatal 0r n0t  
CC: Starscream is a dick.  


CA: It is not evven forty seconds ago that their old boss became deposed and they immediately start a civvil wwar ovver the succession  
CG: AREN’T THOSE IDIOTS NOT ALREADY IN THE MIDDLE OF A CIVIL WAR?  
CT: D --> Something like that could never happen with the Hemospectrum.  
GA: Alternia Had A Great Number Of Vast And Large Civil Wars In The Past  
CT: D --> Never because of a su%ession crisis.  
AA: What ab0ut the 0ne time ever0ne th0ught an empress died and her success0r was cr0wned but the 0ld empress returned years later and she f0ught a bl00dy war with her success0r?  
CT: D --> Minor mistake.  
CC: But do you remember t)(e time as five different political groupers created five clones of t)(e t)(en current empress and tried to usurp )(er position wit)( t)(eir clones at t)(e same moment?  
CC: It was a giant mess!  
CT: ...  
CT: D --> I hoove nothing.  
GA: I’m Appalled That Soundwave Wants The Power For Himself Now  
GA: He Doesn’t Seemed To Be The Type To Lead   
GA: Excluding His Alleged Lack Of Charisma  
GA: (Soundwave) “Cool Dignified Analytical And Calm Behaviour Superior Goons Who Can Only Blither Around Like Morons Inferior”  
GC: CUT M4T3R14L H4D R3V34L3D TH4T SOUNDW4V3 PL4NN3D TO US3 TH3 POS1T1ON 4S L34D3R TO R3SCU3 M3G4TRON  
TC: If it was cut it shouldn’t count.  
AG: This would normally 8e the case 8ut so many fans, including many officials from the Transformers staff were so unhappy with Soundwaves strange 8ehaviour they decided that the cut motiv8tion of taking leadership to rescue Megatron is practical canon at this point.  
CG: FAIR ENOUGH   
CG: BUT SOUNDWAVE BEHAVIOUR APPEARS ODD IN THESE SCENES REGARDLESS.  


AT: tHIS PLANET HAS AN INCREDIBLE VOICE.  
AT: iT GIVES HIM A VERY AUTHORITARIAN PRESENCE.   
TA: Ye2, that make2 hiim authoriitariian and not the fact that he ii2 planet-2iized.  
AC: :33< Megatron has quite the nerves to talk with Unicron in such an arrogant tone  
AC: :33< I could never do that  
CA: He still yields in the end  
CA: Unicron made Megatron an offer he could not refuse  
CA: Life or death  
GA: He Fears The Matrix But Why Has it the Potency To Kill Him And Where Does Unicron Come From Anyway Question Mark  
AG: A long time ago shortly after the 8ig 8ang “The One” cre8d Unicron to explore the newly formed Universe.  
AG: Then he split Unicron into two 8eings, Primus and Unicron.  
CG: WHAT?  
GC: DON’T 4SK   
GC: 4NYHOW, PR1MUS WOULD CR34T3 TH3 TR4NSFORM3RS R4C3 4ND TR4NSFORM H1MS3LF 1NTO TH3 PL4N3T CYB3RTRON WH1L3 UN1CRON H4T3S 4LL L1F3 4ND 3X1ST3NC3 4ND W4NTS TO CONSUM3 TH3 UN1V3RS3  
AG: To help and protect his children Primus cre8d the Matrix which holds a vast amount of his power and can 8e used ag8nst Unicron.   
AG: It is the only thing that can destroy Unicron in a meaningful way.  
TC: That is a good and acceptable explanation.  
TC: But it doesn’t seem that this will ever explained in this movie.  
GC: TH4T 1S CORR3CT   
GC: OTH3R WR1T3RS 1N OTH3R M3D14 H4D TO F1LL 1N TH3 G4PS 4BOUT TH3 B4CKSTORY OF UN1CRON 4ND TH3 M4TR1X.  
AA: With0ut kn0wing Unicr0ns m0tivati0ns he seems rather h0ll0w  
AA: His st0ry in the m0vie itself is minimal at best  
AA: But it isn’t diminishing the threat he clearly is  


AG: And now time for a new episode of “Pimp my Transformer!”.  
CT: They get repaired and upgraded into more dangerous machines of war.  
GC: PLUS TH3 UPGR4D3 G1V3S G4LV4TRON TH3 VO1C3 FROM 4 GUY WHO S4NG 4BOUT 4 HOBB1T   
GC: BUT 1T 1S ONLY 4 FR33 TR14L, 1F H3 W4NTS TO K33P TH3 VO1C3 H3 H4S TO P4Y FOR TH3 DLC L4T3R  
TA: What ii2 a hobbiit?  
GC: 1 FOUND 4 V1D3O 4BOUT TH3 VO1C3 4CTOR OF G4L4V4TRON L3ON4RD N1MOY S1NG1NG 4BOUT B1LBO B4GG1NS TH3 L1TTL3 HOBB1T  
TA: II googled iit and II found that liittle guy wiith very haiiry feet.   
TA: Why the fuck would they hiire 2omebody who 2ang about thii2 creature two voiice a powerful robot of de2tructiion?  
GC: 1 H4V3 NO 1D34  
GA: It Seems As If The Decepticons Have Again Reached Zero Casualties  
GA: Their Luck Is Beyond Belief  
AG: Well, not reeeeeeeealy.   
AG: The only person who kept his original personality and memories from 8efore seems to 8e Galavatron.  
AA: Death changed them   
AA: I kn0w h0w that is  
AC: :33< Also Galvatron gets a cool new ride  
AC: :33< That spaceship looks fantastic  


AG: Hail to the king 8a8y!  
GA: This Costume Is So So   
GA: I Can’t Even Describe It It Looks So Awful  
AA: Fr0m where did he g0t that ridicul0us cr0wn fr0m? The t0y st0re?  
CA: I think he looks good especially wwith the cloak  
CA: But I don’t understand his distaste in music  
CC: I guess t)(ey lack a clear protocol for a croening ceremony so nobody knows w)(en to do w)(at.  
GC: 1 B3T TH1S 1S TH3 F1RST T1M3 TH3Y 3V3R D1D TH4T  
GC: 1 1M4G1N3 4LR34DY HOW ST4RSCR34M S4T DOWN 3V3RY D4Y 1N H1S ROOM 4ND WROT3 DOWN HOW H1S 4SC3NS1ON TO D3C3PT1CON L34D3R H4D TO LOOK L1K3  
GC: (Starscream) “TH3 100 TR4NSFORM3RS STRONG D4NC3 TROUP3 W1LL M4K3 TH31R 3NTRY 4FT3R TH3 CORON4T1ON 1S F1N1SH3D TH3Y W1LL PR3S3NT 4 S1MPL3 1124 ST3P ROUT1N3 FOR MY HONOUR WH1CH W1LL T4K3 30 M1NUT3S TH3Y W1LL M4K3 TH31R 3NTR4NC3 V14 4 H1DD3N L1FT FROM TH3 GROUND WH1L3 F1R3WORKS W1LL F1LL TH3 SKY W1TH M4YH3M 4ND COLOUR 4FT3R TH4T TH3 S33K3RS W1LL DO 1000 M4NO3UVR3S 1N TH3 SKY W1TH “D4NG3R ZON3” PL4Y1NG 1N TH3 B4CKGROUND 1 LOV3 TH4T SONG”  
CG: I READ ONCE THAT IN HUMAN CULTURE ONLY THE HIGHEST RELIGIOUS AUTHORITY, THE POPE IS ALLOWED TO CROWN AN EMPEROR.   
CG: AND ASTROTRAIN JUST CROWNED STARSCREAM.   
CG: DOES THAT MEAN THAT ASTROTRAIN IS THE FUCKING POPE OF THE DECEPTICONS MAIN RELIGION?  
CG: WHY THE FUCKING MUSCLEBEASTSHIT IS EVEN THEIR POPE ON THE FRANTIC FRONT LINES?!  
CG: (Astrotrain) IN NOMINE PATRIS ET FILII ET SPIRITUS SANCTI I CROWN YE THE LEADER OF THE DECEPTICONS.  


AG: (Galvatron) “This is 8ad comedy. Where is 8o 8urnham?”  
TA: IIf you want good comedy fly iintwo a diifferent moviie Galvatron.  
TC: This is probably the end of Starscream.  
CG: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?   
GC: THAT FUCKING IDIOT WILL ONLY BEAT UP THAT OVERCONFIDENT SEEKER LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES.   
GC: HE LET’S HIM KEEP HIS POSITION OF SECOND-IN-COMMAND AFTERWARDS AND THE CYCLE OF BETRAYAL AND FAILURE WILL CONTINUE.   
GA: To Be Fair He Was Able To Usurp The Position Of Deception Leader For A Few Seconds.  
GC: THAT WILL NOT CHANGE ANYTHING.  


CA: Can you repeat wwhat you just said Karkat  
CG: WHAT THE HELL?   
CG: HE FINALLY GOT SOME FUCKING BRAIN CELLS AFTER BEING ALMOST KILLED AND TURNED INTO GALVATRON?   
CG: SHIT-EATING-HORSE-COCK THAT METAL MORON ISN’T ONE ANYMORE! KILLING STARSCREAM IS THE FUCKING MOST INTELLIGENT THING HE EVER COULD HAVE DONE!  
AT: bUT YOU STILL SOUND UPSET OVER IT.  
CG: YES BECAUSE THOSE APATHETIC ARSENIC ASSHOLES OF AUTHORS KILLED ANOTHER CHARACTER WHO WAS AN ESTABLISHED CAST MEMBER FROM DAY ONE!  
GC: TH1S 1S 4T L34ST 4 LOG1C4L 3ND TO ST4RSCR34MS CH4R4CT3R 4RC  
GA: How Popular Is This Professional Backstabber??   
AG: Way more than any of you may think.  
TC: It seems unwise to kill-off such a popular character who also delivers an interesting dynamic in the story.  
AA: Regardless 0f that he had it c0ming  
CC: )(e smas)(ed t)(e croen wit)( )(is foot.   
CC: Does t)(at mean )(e )(ates royalty?  
AG: In another continuity he was originally poor miner who l8r 8ecame a gladiator and lead a re8ellion ag8nst the c8ste system that was in pl8ce in the society of the Transformers.  
AT: tHAT SOUNDS GREAT,  
AA: Let me guess and say that the p0wer c0rrupted him later  
GC: Y3S   
GC: 3V3N 4FT3R TH3 C4ST3-SYST3M W4S 4BOL1SH3D 4ND R3FORM4T1ONS W3R3 PUT 1N PL4C3 H3 ST1LL W4NT3D TO CONQU3R CYB3RTRON  
CT: D --> Power can ruin even the greatest and most passionate idealists  


CA: Unicron is as sneaky as evver  
TA: That or the two a22hole2 on the moon ba2e have very poor eye2iight.  
CT: D --> Their early warning systems are also not the best I hoove seen.  
GA: I Have Heard Of Communication Officers But Wouldn’t Think It To Be A Good Idea when The Officers Are Also Their Own Equipment  
GA: What Can They Do If Something Happens Him And They Need To Do A Long-Range Emergency Call Question Mark  
AC: :33< Unicron is a glutton  
AC: :33< I mean he just ate a few hours ago  
AC: :33< If he continues to eat so much in this irresponsible manner he will get a very bad belly ache  
AA: It c0uld be a metaph0r f0r s0mething but what?   
AA: Imperialism? C0nsumerism?  
CC: .Maybe )(e is glubing bored and looked for somet)(ing to do until furt)(er knotice?  
GC: TH3 CONSUMM4T1ON OF 3V3RYTH1NG 4ND 3V3RYON3 1S H1S ONLY GO4L  


GC: OH SH1T 1ND33D SP1K3, OH SH1T 1ND33D  
AT: i DIDN’T KNEW THAT IT WAS POSSIBLE TO HOTWIRE A MOON INTO EXPLODING.  
AG: Of course it is possi8le silly, everyone knows that you can hotwire everything which is electronic to self-destruct.  
TC: Does that mean that a person with the required knowledge could hotwire Cybertron to explode?  
CG: I HOPE NOT BECAUSE IT IS ALREADY FUCKING STUPID THAT IT IS POSSIBLE WITH THEIR MOONS!  
CG: BUT IT IS STILL FOR SHIT BECAUSE UNICRON DOESN’T EVEN FLINCH WHEN A FUCKING MOON EXPLODES IN HIS MOUTH!  
CA: (Unicron) Hmm that moon just exploded in my mouth  
CA: (Unicron) Spicy  
CC: And two more c)(aracters bite t)(e dust.  
GC: DY1NG TO B3 R3PL4C3D  
GA: What Do You Mean Terezi?  
GA: Please Elaborate  
GC: 1 4ND VR1SK4 LOOK3D UP TH3 R34SON WHY 4LL THOS3 CH4R4CT3RS W3R3 K1LL3D   
GC: TH3Y D1D 1T B3C4US3 TH31R TOYS W3R3N’T PRODUC3D 4NYMOR3  
AG: And to 8e repl8ced with new characters, so the parents would spend money for the new toys.  
GA: All Of This To Make More Mammon Question Mark  
AG: Yes, they couldn’t live from VHS Sales alone.  
AG: Selling toys 8rings the 8ig money which keeps Has8ro afloat.  
CG: THOSE DUNGHEADS KILLED OPTIMUS PRIME JUST THEY CAN SELL THE NEW TOY OF A HEAP OF SCARP?!  
CG: THIS IS STUPID!  


TC: D --> Galvatron’s boldness borders on delusion about his current position.  
TC: D --> Unicron can do whatever he wants, he is STRONGER, larger and has more abilities than the Leader of the Decepticons.  
GA: He Is A Very Pride Fool.  
AA: Wh0 is getting a headache c0urtesy 0f Unicr0n n0w  
TA: He made a deal wiith a iincrediible powerful eviil force, what diid he expect would happen?  
AG: He was his his entire life his own 8oss, it is difficult for him to accept that he isn’t the head honcho anymore.  
CC: It is unwise to c)(allenge somebody w)(o can make your )(ead )(urt on a w)(im.  
AG: (Galvatron) “I have a head8che this 8ig and it’s got Excedrin written all over it”.  


CC: (Ultra Magnus) “Don’t worry Daniel, I’m s)(ore your fat)(er surfvived being eating by an evil cod.”  
CA: (Springer) “I doubt it that human is dead”  
CG: (Kup) “SHUT YOUR ORAL, GREENHORN!”  
AC: :33< Why does Hot Rod think that the Matrix could destroy Unicron?  
AC: :33< Does he know about the significance of it in relation to Primeows?  
TA: He 2ay2 he ha2 a “feeliing” whiich ii2 2horthand for “gut feeliing ii2 better than an explanatiion ba2ed on fact2 becau2e iit ii2 quiicker two get acro22.”.  
CT: D --> I wouldn’t trust the intuition of a man those a%ions got his leader killed.  
CG: BY THE CRASH-BASHING WAY: WHY IS NONE OF THOSE NUMBNUTS CALLING RODMUS OUT FOR HIS RECKLESS BEHAVIOUR THAT GOT OPTIMUS KILLED?  
GA: Maybe They Are Seasoned Enough To Accept That Death Is Part Of A War And It Doesn’t Change Anything If They Blame Their Own Comrades  
CG: I WISH ONE OF THAT FUCKERS WOULD AT LEAST ONCE KICK HIM IN THE BALLS FOR HIS IDIOCY!  
AT: rODIMUS WILL LEARN OF HIS MISTAKE AND GROW AS A PERSON FROM IT.  
TC: And with Unicron on the way, they have other worries than Hot Rods vice of rash action.  
GA: “Their Day“ How Humans Call It Is Becoming More Awful With Every New Development.  


AA: And an0ther battle  
AA: D0es n0b0dy 0f the Transf0rmers ever gets tired?   
AA: The battle 0f Aut0b0t City was at least 0nly a few h0urs ag0  
AA: They have t0 be exhausted  
AA: I kn0w they are r0b0ts but even they need t0 recharge fr0m time t0 time   
AA: At least the kid sh0uld g0 h0me and g0 t0 bed n0w  
AC: Why are the Dinobots suddenly so uncooperative?  
CT: D --> It 100ks odd how Hot Rod lassos them in.  
CT: D --> They aren’t stupid animals.  
CT: D --> They might be mighty warriors but the enemy could be more powerful than them even if they shot one down already.  
GC: 1N TH3 S3R13S TH3Y 4R3 UNCOOP3R4T1V3 B3C4US3 OF H3R PR1M1T1V3 BR41NS, H3R STR3NGTH 4ND COMB4T POW3R 4ND TH3 4RROG4NT 4TT1TUD3 R3SULT1NG OUT OF THOS3 F4CTORS  
AG: Here are they uncooperative and stupid for the s8ke of comic relief at cert8n parts.  
CC: T)(is sounds pike a searious droengrade for t)(e Dinobots as c)(aracters.  
CC: And s)(ouldn’t t)(ey be very angry at Galvatron and t)(e Decepticons for murdering t)(eir Lusus?  
AG: The writers never thought of Wheeljack as parent of the Dino8ots for wh8ver reason.  
CG: I DON’T WANT TO SOUND LIKE AN ASSHOLE OF A FAN BUT YOU FORGOT THAT RATCHET WAS THE CO-CREATOR OF DINOBOTS ALONGSIDE WHEELJACK.   
CG: HE DIED ON THE SHUTTLE AND WAS ALSO THEIR LUSUS.  
GA: It Sounds Similar To The Humans Who Most Of Them Have Two Lusus Also Known As Parents   
GA: I Wonder How They Worked As A Family  
AC: (Grimlock) :33< Me Grimlock want to go to cinema tonight  
GC: (Ratchet) WH1CH MOV13 DO YOU PL4N TO S33?  
AC: (Grimlock) :33< The good dinosaur  
AG: (Wheeljack) Only after you drank your Tequila and cleaned your room young man!  
AC: (Grimlock) :33< I don’t want tequila, I want cola!  
GC: (Ratchet) BUT YOU N33D YOUR T3QU1L4 TO B3COM3 B1G 4ND STRONG  
AG: (Wheeljack) Also the curfew is eleven o’clock.  
AC: (Grimlock) :33< Yes, yes  
AG: (Wheeljack) “Yes, Yes” means “kiss my ass”! Now go 8efore we change our decision!  


  


CA: They run awway   
CA: Cowwards  
CA: They beat em the first time they can do it again  
AT: aUTOBOT CITY IS IN RUINS, tHEY FACE AN UNKNOWN ENEMY, uHH, aND THEY ARE PROBABLY STILL VERY TIRED FROM THE LAST BATTLE.  
AT: aLSO i WONDER HOW MUCH TIME HAS PASSED.  
AT: oPTIMUS PRIME NEEDED AN ENTIRE NIGHT TO REACH AUTOBOT CITY BUTT GALAVTRON REACHED IT VERY QUICKLY AFTER UNICRON GAVE HIM NEW ORDERS.  
TA: Maybe a case of a poorly presented timeskip or the writers didn’t care and used the “no delays for the wicked” Trope.  
CA: Is there nobody else to defend the base anymore  
AG: Nope, they are all dead.  
AG: Or not 8ut it seems as if they all dead, so who knows?  
AA: And if n0t then Galvatr0n can finish the j0b n0w  
The Movie suddenly stopped

CG: WHO STOPPED THE MOVIE? KEEP THE MOVIE GOING!  
AG: Do you hope to see how Hot Rod meets a terri8le f8?  
CG: AMONGST OTHER THINGS.  
GC: MY L4PTOP W4NTS M3 TO DOWNLO4D SOM3TH1NG C4LL3D “W1NDOWS 10”   
GC: 1 DON’T KNOW WH4T 1T 1S BUT TH3 MOV13 W1LL NOT CONT1NU3 UNT1L 1 H4V3 D34LT W1TH 1T  
CC: W)(at can we do until t)(e movie continues?  
TA: II found more iinformatiion about Leonard Niimoy and II found 2omethiing very iintere2tiing.  
TA: He played a bad guy named Xehanort iin a viideogame 2eriie2 about a kiingdom of heart2 and how they all u2e key2 a2 weapon2 there.  
GA: This Sounds Peculiar   
CA: It sounds stupid  
AT: iT SOUNDS INTERESTING!  
AT: lET US EXPLORE IT!  
CG: WHY THE GRAND-IMPERIAL FUCK NOT?   
CG: BETTER THAN SITTING AROUND FOR A FUCKING UPDATE TO FINISH.  


TC: I’m in the lobby in the meantime to stock on refreshments. Any requests my fine friends? 

========================================================================================

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm… The best ideas about what to write come over time.  
> The best jokes can come up at random or through thinking enough about the situation.
> 
> Unicron may not be a very complex villain but he sure as hell is an impressive and intimidating one. Some may accuse him of being a Death Star Rip-Off but he is very different from the Non-Moon Space Station.
> 
> The entire story of this movie is clearly inspired by Star Wars, if not even ripped-off to some degree but it is hardly a bland copy of the first Star Wars Movie but that is just my opinion.
> 
> I hope my concept of using several pictures instead of one like my colleague Anon_H does works for the readers.  
> I’m of the opinion that if you have to use still images show several at once about a scene the characters are commenting on so the plot of the movie becomes clearer for the readers in case they never saw the movie.
> 
> Sometimes I don’t know if I didn’t wrote enough about a scene or too much. It can be hard to tell but I have a good feeling that I did everything right in that regard.
> 
> I changed Gamzee via magical Horrorterror-Faygo because he is kind of hard to write for me. I sometimes don’t know on what he would comment on and how. It is kind of interesting having a truly reformed Gamzee on hand, one that is healed from his Sopor-Addiction and the Highblood Insanity.
> 
>  
> 
> I thank everyone for reading and if you liked that you saw please kudos, comment and maybe subscribe and would appreciate any form of constructive criticism about my work. 
> 
> May Primus be with you.


	3. Inoccent, yet guilty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing: The worst court in the known Universe.

Chapter 3: Inoccent, yet guilty

Introducing: The worst court in the known Universe.

========================================================================================

A few days later...

CC: )(ow many incarnations of t)(at sinister guy are t)(ere again?  
TA: Four II thiink.  
GA: The Article About Him Seems Complex Maybe Even Too Complex  
GA: This Entire Game Series Is Very Confusing  
CA: So much fake magic no wwonder it lost itself  
CG: I DON’T GET THE FUCKING NOBODIES.  
AT: i... I..., uHHH, i DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING.  
TC: But there is no doubt that Leonard Nimoy is a very good voice actor.  


–arachnidsGrip [AG] joined memo–

–gallowsCallibrator [GC] joined memo-

AG: We are 8aaaaaaaack!!!!!!!!  
GC: TH4T UPD4T3 W4S 4 P41N 1N TH3 4SS!   
GC: N3V3R 4G41N  
TA: Why diidn’t you a2k for my help on thii2?  
AG: 8ecause it was more challenging that way!!!!!!!!  
GC: W3 4LSO M4Y H4V3 FORGOTT3N TH4T YOU 4R3 OUR R3S1D3NT14L COMPUT3R 3XP3RT, SOLLUX  
AG: Wh8ver, let us get 8ack to the movie.  


AA: An 0ld r0b0t shares war st0ries with a bunch Din0saur R0b0ts   
AA: As a part time archae0l0gist I d0n’t kn0w if I sh0uld be impressed by this 0r n0t  
GA: It Is Surprising How Jovial They Seem To Be Despite The Fact That Their Revered Leader Perished Just An Hour Ago  
GA: This Scene Would Have Been Better Suited With A Somber Note  
CG: AND NOBODY IS SNAPPING AT HOT ROD FOR HIS STUPEFYING STUPIDITY!   
CG: SOMEBODY SHOULD SAY HIM THAT HE IS A WORTHLESS PIECE OF CARAMELIZED CRAP WITH A RUBBER DUCK FOR A BRAIN!  
AC: :33< I have a déjà vu here  
AC: :33< He is fighting with a robot-drone and uses a lightsabre Where did I s33 that befure?  
AC: :33< I doubt that the furce, pardon, the matrix is strong with him  


AG: (Galvatron) “Missiles, more missiles, shoot more missiles, there can never 8e enough missiles, shoot missiles until the sky is only missiles!”  
CG: (Kup) “I THINK I KNOW A MANOEUVRE FROM THE WHICH CAN DODGE A TON OF MISSILES BUT WE HAD A LOT OF CASUALTIES THAT DAY.”  
CA: I don’t think that repeatin a manoeuvvre from a day wwith many casualties is a good movve  
CG: (Kup) “WE LOST ONE MILLION MAN THAT DAY BUT IT WAS WORTH IT!”  


AT: (Hot Rod) “dO WE HAVE A SPACESHIP INSURANCE KUP?”  
CG: (Kup) “YES, BUT IT DOESN’T COVER MISSILE DAMAGE.”  
CT: D --> Can inverted polarities only dodge missile attacks?  
GA: Even The Best Pilot Can Only Dodge So Many Attacks With Or Without Inverted Polarities  


AG: (Galvatron) “Missiles solve everything!”  
CT: (Cyclonus) D --> “I shoot the first ship down, sir.”  
AG: (Galvatron) “You would have shoot it down faster if you had used your missiles!”  
CG: WHY DOESN’T THAT SHITHEAD ULTRA MAGNUS DEAL WITH THE PROBLEM THAT OTHER SHIP HAS?   
CG: I UNDERSTAND HIS APATHY TOWARDS HOT ROD BUT NOT FOR THE OTHERS IN THE SHIP.  
CC: (Ultra Magnus) “I can deal wit)( t)(at after I c)(ecked my Facebook.”.  


TA: Thii2 ii2 what you get for premature thiinkiing kiid2.   
TA: A headache deliivered by an eviil god.  
AC: :33< Unicron is overreacting  
AC: :33< Galvatron did a good job except fur overlooking the detachable bridge  
TC: Unicron, the fool wants the Matrix, the only object able to kill him to be havocked so he should inform Galvatron that the Matrix is still intact and there it is instead of punishing his minion.  
TC: This is bad strategy.  
CG: WHO NEEDS TACTIC IF YOU CAN DEVOUR ALL YOUR PROBLEMS?  


AC: :33< Robot fishes eat smaller robot fishes?  
AC: :33< Did somebody build and purgram them like that?  
AC: :33< This is stupid and I am hungry fur fish now  
CG: YES, YES!   
CG: SCREAM FOR HELP YOU IDIOT, YOU DESERVE YOUR PERIL!  
CA: Howw the heck did Hot Rod end up in that situation in the first place   
CA: His friends are gone and he is awway from his ship   
CA: WWas he catapulted into the algae by the crash or wwhat  
TC: D --> Something is amiss here  
TC: D --> Maybe a %ene was cut.  
TC: D --> I also wonder who made those mechanical fish and why   
TC: D --> There has to be a creator.  
AT: pRIMUS?  
CA: He is a highly devveloped artificial intelligence so creatin more primitivve ones should be easy for him  
CC: You still aren’t believing in magic, are you?  
CA: Listen fef it is easy to explain here  
CA: Unicron is not an evvil cod he wwas created by vvery advvanced aliens, escaped from em at some point and the matrix wwas a backup plan by those aliens in case he wwent rogue  
CA: There are no gods or magic in that or in our owwn wworld  
GC: WH4T 4BOUT TH3 HORRORT3RRORS?  
CA: They are wway more advvanced than us nothin more and nothin less   
CA: All the powwers they givve to people is nothin more than superior technology  
AG: What a8out ghosts and the afterlife?   
AG: Do you remem8er the time Aradia tormented me with the ghost of my victims?  
CA: I wwrote an essay about that incident that explains it   
CA: It is 5000 Pages long  
AG: Please no.  


GA: This Reminds Me Of A Legend From The Planet Earth Rose Told Me Once  
GA: It Was About A Young Lad Who Had To Rescue His Girlfriend From A Terrible Beast Similar To This One  
GA: There Was Also Something About A Woman Named Medusa With An Expression So Hideous That Everybody Turned To Stone Who Behold Her  
CG: WORSE THAN CALIBORNS FACE?  
AT: hOT ROD IS VERY BRAVE TO FIGHT AGAINST THAT KRAKEN TO SAVE HIS FRIEND.  
CG: I DOUBT THE MORON WILL REPEAT THAT LUCKY SUCCESS.   
AT: wILL YOU NEVER LET IT GO?  
CG: YES!  
CG: YOU DIDN’T KNOW OPTIMUS LIKE I DID TAVROS.  
CG: OTHERWISE YOU WOULD ALSO HATE THAT SCRAMBLE-BRAIN.  
AT: i THINK HOT ROD WILL OVERCOME THIS STIGMA AND BE EVEN GREATER THAN OPTIMUS EVER WAS.  
CG: HERESY!  
AG: (Only in your dreams Toradork)  


TA: And they are dead.  
AG: No, they aren’t.  
TA: II gue22 robot2 could 2urviive 2uch a cra2h wiithout u2iing a 2eatbelt.  
GC: D4N13L 4LSO SURV1V3D  
TA: That ii2 bull2hiit.  
AA: Have Transf0rmers insurance?  
TC: Yes, but they have to pay extra for bridges which can be disconnected from a ship.  


CC: (Ultra Magnus) “Can we fix it?”  
AC: (Perceptor) :33< “Be my analysis of the damage sustained this could last several months so if time isn’t a factor then my answer is - yes we can”  
CT: (Arcee) “D --> I go and play with Daniel which I gave the E%o-Suit of his father.”  
CT: (Arcee) “D --> We really should hoove send him home after the Battle of Autobot City instead letting him hang around with us.”  
GC: H1S MOTH3R C4RLY W1LL K1CK TH3 4UTOBOT’S 4SS3S FOR DR4GG1NG H3R SON THROUGH MULT1PL3 W4RZON3S  


AC: :33< The emptiness of the scrap-planet, the dreary landscape of this place is distils an atmosfure of solitude and mystery  
AC: :33< What secrets may lie behind the layers of this artificial planet?  
AC: :33< What miracles, joys, terrors, pawer, creation, destruction and mysteries are hidden in the many ships which furmed this celestial body?  


Everbody in the chat went silent.

AC: :33< Guys?  
GA: We Are Stunned My Dear  
AC: :33< Thank you! -^^-  
AG: The first secret that comes from under the planets artificial surf8ce of Junkion is Wreck-Gar (voiced 8y Eric Idle) and his Junkions.  
GC: D4V3 S41D WH3N3V3R C3RT41N 4CTORS FROM 4 GROUP C4LL3D “MONTHY PHYTON” 4PP34R 1N 4 MOV13 1N 4NY FORM W3 SHOULD M4K3 TH3 FOLLOW1NG JOK3S FROM TH1S L1ST   
CG: THE FUCK? A SNAKE GROUP? SHOW ME THE JOKES!  
GC: H4V3 4 LOOK GUYS  
AA: Junki0n is a silly place?  
AA: I d0n’t think s0  
AA: Even th0ugh Wreck-Gar’s v0ice s0unds strange he has an army 0n his side and he c0mes acr0ss as sinister and danger0us  


TC: Autobots seem to be a magnet for trouble.  
TC: Hot Rod just finished repairing his friend and seconds later they encounter unfriendly looking natives  
CA: Univversal greetin  
CA: Should wwe use it to greet our human friends next time wwe see em  
GC: GOOD 1D34! H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3!  
GC: W3 W1LL CONFUS3 TH3M W1TH NO 3ND WH3N W3 S4Y ”B4H W33P GR444GN4H WH33P N1 N1 BONG” TO GR33T TH3M  
GC: 4LL TH3 T1M3 FOR TH3 N3XT F3W MONTHS  
CG: (Kup) I’M LOVABLE BUT THAT DOESN’T CHANGE THE FACT THAT I’M BAD AT DIPLOMACY OR THAT THE FISH-ROBOTS ARE ASSHOLES.   
AT: mAYBE THE ENERGON-GOODIES ARE REALLY TASTY.  
CG: (Kup) I LIKE MINE WITH PINEAPPLE FLAVOUR.  


CC: And w)(o is t)(is little guy?  
AG: A tourist.  


GC: CONT3ST4T1ON!  
GC: 3V3N TH3 F1RST T1M3 1 S4W TH1S NONS3NS1C4L COURT 4ND TH31R 1NS4N3 HONOR4BL3 TYR4NNY TH1S D1DN’T M4D3 4NY S3NS3  
GC: S3NT3NC3D P3OPL3 4R3 SUPPOS3D TO B3 TOSS3D 1NTO 4 V4T OF 4C1D 4ND NOT TO B3 34T3N BY SH4RKS  
AA: I d0ubt that these pe0ple have a judicial degrees  
CA: WWhat wwas the charge  
AT: mURDER?  
AC: :33< Treason?  
AG: Knowing these assholes he was executed for littering.  


CT: D --> I am seriously doubting your claim that this moovie was made for wrigglers Serket.  
AT: tHIS IS FUCKED UP!  
CG: DID THEY FUCKING DIE LIKE THAT OR DID THEY TOSS THE REMAINS OF THE EXECUTED BACK INTO THE CELL?  
GC: T1M3 FOR SOM3 PLOT DUMP 1NCLUD1NG UN1CRONS N4M3 BY “TH3 L4ST L1THON3“ KR4N1X  
AT: (Hot Rod) “wHAT DID YOU DO TO LAND HERE?”  
GA: (Kranix) I Am A Refugee   
GA: (Kranix) They Didn’t Need Any Other Reason To Declare Me A Potential Terrorist And Throw Me Into Prison  
CG: (Kup) PARANOID ARCHAIC ASSHOLES!  


AA: An executi0n/gen0cide?   
AA: This is m0re disturbing than I h0ped  
CG: I’M SURPRISED THAT THOSE JUDICIAL JACKASSES DIDN’T MADE THIS A PUBLIC EXECUTION.   
CG: WITH THE REMAINS OF THE EXECUTED AS SOUVENIRS FOR THE KIDS AND PHOTOS OF THE SHARKS RIPPING THE PRISONER APART.   
CG: GOBSNOBELING TARTARUS THIS TRANS-GALACTIC CATASTROPHE OF A COURT SHOULDN’T EVEN JUDGE SOMEBODY FOR A POROUS PARKING TICKET!  
GA: I Have The Feeling That This Court Is just Evil For The Sake Of Being Evil.  
AG: Do you want to hear their 8ackstory and the actual name of this species?  
CA: Is this important for the story  
AG: Not really.  
CA: I wwonder  


CG: WHY ARE THE MIGHTY DINOBOTS SUDDENLY NOTHING BUT COMIC RELIEF?  
GC: TH3Y 4R3 M4RK3T3D TO HUM4N K1DS B3C4US3 TH3Y L1K3 TH3M 4ND C3RT41N 4DULTS TH1NK TH4T HUM4N CH1LDR3N W1LL L1K3 TH3M MOR3 1F TH3Y 4CT MOR3 S1LLY 4ND L3SS B4D4SS  
CG: BURN DOWN THE MARKETING DEPARTMENT!  
TC: Why are there random pits full with spikes on the ground?  
TC: This is a serious safety Hazard.  
CA: I think the Quintessons are into Darwwinism like our species wwas  
TA: Who?  
CA: The court guys   
CA: I looked em up and it seems that they are also the creators of the Transformers  
AG: The idea of the Quintessons as the cr8ors of the Transformers isn’t a popular one.  
AG: Who in their right mind would like to 8e cre8d 8y those losers?  
CA: But it makes more sense than bein created by a so called “Deity” wwith magic  
CA: They created Unicron and the Matrix as a failsafe against him but both slipped from their hands  
CT: D --> Meaning they are also verily incompetent.  
CA: But no deities  


CG: WHO IS THAT LITTLE SHIT?  
AG: This is Wheelie, the repl8cement for 8um8le8ee as the Kid-Appeal Character.  
CG: OH FUCK THIS!  
AG: He crashed on Quintessa with his ship and was forced to survive alone on a planet full of hostile 8astards.  
AC: :33< He is a survivalist?  
AC: :33< Do we get to s33 him hunting fur food and fighting fur hiss life?  
GC: NO, H3 W1LL ONLY SP34K 1N RHYM3 4ND B31NG US3L3SS FOR TH3 MOST P4RT  
CG: AND THAT UNDERSIZED ASSHOLE DOES NOTHING BUT ANNOY THE DINOBOTS AND SHOTS GRIMLOCK’S NOSE.  
CG: WHY ON QUINTESSA AREN’T THE DINOBOTS SIMPLY EATING THAT IRRITATING, CROCK-SUCKING, STUPID, SLINGSHOT SCUMBAG?!   
AT: bECAUSE THEY ARE THE, uHH, gOOD GUYS?  
CG: IN THAT CASE SOUNDWAVE SHOULD COME OVER AND KILL WHEELIE.  


AG: (Galvatron) “So let me get this str8:”  
AG: (Galvatron) “You call me here to say me that Ultra Magnus still lives and the Matrix is still intact.”  
AG: (Galvatron) “8ut instead of informing me a8out it via telepathy you give me a head8che to summon me here and THEN tell me a8out it.”.  
AA: (Unicron) “Yes G0 n0w and kill Ultra Magnus”   
AA: (Unicron) “He is pr0bably l0ng g0ne while I f0rced y0u t0 make a det0ur t0 me”  
CA: Bloody moron  


CC: Meanw)(ile little wrigglers getting super strengt)( via -Exo-Suits, Wreck-Gar is about to attack and t)(e Decepticons are already attacking.  
GC: OK4Y, 4 SC3N3 W1TH 4 PYTHON 4CTOR, L3T’S S33 WH4T JOK3 W3 SHOULD US3  
GA: How About “no I Am Zoots Identical Twin Sister Dingo”  
GC: WHY?  
GA: I Don’t Know  
GA: I Don’t Understand The Context Of All Those Quotes.  
TC: Let me try.  
TC: Maybe this...  
TC: (Wreck-Gar) We should call the Bishop for backup!  
AG: What????????  
TA: Wherefrom come all tho2e new Deceptiicon2 iin the 2hoot?  
TA: They weren’t there before.  
AA: They waited 0ff-screen f0r their cue  


CA: I like a good battle like any troll but this movvie has wway too many  
CA: Barely any time to rest to digest anythin that happened  
GA: Some Downtime Would Have Been Beneficial For The Movie  
GA: Are Human Wrigglers Incapable Of Handling A Quiet Scene  
GC: TH3Y C4N BUT MY STUD13S OF HUM4N1TY SHOW3D M3 TH4T C3RT41N GROWN-UPS B3L13V3D TH4T CH1LDR3N N33D 4CT1ON 4LL TH3 T1M3 1N TH31R PROGR4MM1NG  
GC: FORTUN4T3LY NOT 4LL GROWN-UP HUM4NS B3L13V3D TH4T  
AG: Which doesn’t matter 8ecause most children left the cinemas while 8awling their eyes out after the d8th of Optimus Prime.  
CG: DIE A MISERABLE DEATH HOT ROD!   


AG: Cool!!!!!!!!  
AG: Murder of a child!!!!!!!!  


AG: 8oooh!  
CA: WWhat a bunch of losers   
CA: Beaten by a little wwriggler in a Transformers Cosplay  
CG: WAIT AREN’T THOSE A CONSTRUCTICON AND AN INSECTICON?   
CG: WEREN’T THE FUCKING INSECTICON TRANSFORMED INTO A FUCKING PART OF GALVATRONS TROOPS?  
CG: AND WHY IS THAT CONSTRUCTICON ALONE OUT THERE?!   
CG: WHAT IN THE FUCKING HOLY FUCKWIT VAN FUCK?!  
TA: Only a nerd can freak out about 2uch a meniial aniimatiion error.  
GA: We Are All Nerds In Our Respective Fields Sollux  


CC: (Ultra Magnus) )(ere is my plan: I buri my troops under a pile of rubble and c)(allenge t)(e incoming battalion alone and wit)(out any backup   
CC: (Ultra Magnus) I will only rely on t)(e Matrix of Leaders)(ip and a vague prop)(ecy in w)(ic)( t)(e Matrix will “Lig)(t our Darkest )(our”.  
CC: (Ultra Magnus) ‘Til all are one!  
CT: (Arcee) D --> ‘Til all are one  
CT: (Arcee) D --> I nominate myself for the soon vacant position of Autobot Leader.  
GA: Magnus Is A Superb Strategist A True Adept Of The Art Of War  
AG: (Galvatron) Magnus you magnificent 8astard I READ YOUR 8OOK!  


AT: dID THE DECEPTICONS JUST BLEW UP MAGNUS, uHH, iN GRAPHIC, uHH, dETAIL?  
AA: Y0u kn0w f0r kids!  
CC: Magnus, nooooooo! :(.  
CG: I FEEL YOU FEFERI.  
TC: I guess “Darkest Hour” has to be something way more serious than the attack of a few Decepticons.  
AA: It is n0t easy t0 master the p0wer 0f the afterlife  


CT: D --> The second he holds a mystical artefact of infinite power in his hands he wants to turn on his master.  
CT: D --> And that master is more than angry about it.  
GC: G4LV4TRON B3TR4YS H1S SUP3R1OR   
GC: TH1S SOUNDS F4M1L14R  
AA: Ir0ny thy name is Galvatr0n  
CA: WWhatevver   
CA: That idiot wwill get a face full of headache for that  


AC: :33< We switch now back to Quintessa to witness two more executions in the shark-pit  
CG: YES, BEG FOR YOUR WORTHLESS LIFE HOT ROD YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!  
GA: Karkat  
GA: Please Calm Down  
GA: Insulting Hot Rod At Every Opportunity Will Not Bring Optimus Back To Life  
CG: WHAT THE ELSE CAN I DO?  
GA: Play Kup  
CG: (Kup) “THIS REMINDS ME OF THE TRIAL OF SCORPONOK WHICH DRAGGED OUT FOR YEARS BECAUSE THE DEFENSE AND THE PROSECUTOR DIDN’T STOP TO SHOUT “OBJECTION” OVER THE OTHERS LINE AGAIN AND AGAIN.”  


CC: Drive, drive, drive your car   
CC: Gently along t)(e swirl   
CC: Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,   
CC: T)(en go in for t)(e krill!  


GA: This Brutality Would Never Fly If Those Beings Were Humans Or Other Beings Made Of Flesh Instead Steel  
AT: dID HOT ROD JUST PUNCHED ALL TEETH OF THAT SHARKTICON INTO LITTLE PIECES?  
AT: tHAT IS SO AWESOME!  
AG: You didn’t say that as I did it to that troll who tried to attack us during a Flarping session.  
AG: You f8nted instead.  
AT: iT, uHHH, lOOKED REALLY GROSS IN THAT CASE!  
AT: sAME GOES FOR, uHH, sCRATCHING SOMEONES EYES OUT.  
AG: Hey, I didn’t scratched them out, I gouged them out, 8ig difference!!!!!!!!  
AT: i PUKED MY HEART OUT AFTER SEEING YOU DOING THAT.  
GC: TH1S R3M1NDS OF TH3 T1M3 4S 1 H4NG3D TH4T ON3 G1RL W1TH H3R OWN H41R  
GC: H3R R1D1CULOUS LONG H41R  
GC: 1T W4S LONG3R TH4N TH3 H41R OF TH3 3MPR3SS  
AA: 0r the time as I whipped s0metr0lls head fr0m his sh0ulders   
AA: The purple bl00d came like a f0untain 0ut 0f his neck  
CG: SWEET MERCIFUL SIGNLESS!   
CG: STOP TALKING THIS SHITFUCKING-GURGLING-DEPTHS-OF-HADES INSTANT ABOUT YOUR MURDEROUS FLARPING SPREES!   
CG: JEGUS SUFFERER!  
AG: 8ut those weren’t even our 8est stories.  
CG: SHUT UP OR I WILL END YOU!  
GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3!  


AA: (Slag) Excuse me is this the venue of the Dino-Con?   
TC: (Sludge) “Dino-gram for you!”  
AC: (Grimlock) :33< Nobody expects the Dinobots!  
CG: OKAY I LIKED THAT GAG ENTRANCE   
CG: IT IS BETTER THAN THE FORCED HUMOR.  
AG: How could that Quintesson survive this?   
AG: As I did it with some8ody she didn’t move afterwards anymore.  
CG: I SAID NO MORE GORE-STORIES!  


CT: D --> You see now Nepeta why I didn’t let you Flarp with them  
AC: :33< I wouldn’t like to hurt other people without a reason  
AC: :33< But your tails reminds me of the time as I was furced to fight with a big beast.   
AC: :33< I sliced the belly of a big beast open during the battle  
AC: :33< The intestines dropped into the open and I pulled them further out until the beast had died  
CG: OH GOG!  
CC: I accidentally krilled some crazy fanatic once w)(o wanted to assassinate me on one of my s)(ore leaves.  
CC: I didn’t know my own strengt)( t)(en and it wasn’t my intention to krill )(im as I wanted only use force some press)(ore on )(is )(ead Wit)( my foot.  
CC: Instead )(is )(ead s)(attered into a mess of fles)( and brain.  
CG: STOP  
GA: I Have A Particular Story About A Desert-Raider And My Lipstick  
CG: STOP TALKING YOU SHITGURGLING MANIACS!  
CA: You wwouldn’t havve survvivved for lon in the Alternian fleet wwith that attitude to vviolence kar  
CG: AS IF COCKSUCKING-CARE YOU CRANK-CUTTHROATING-ASSHOLE!  


AC: (Grimlock) :33< Me Grimlock doesn’t even n33d a boat to beat sharks  
AC: (Grimlock) :33< Me Grimlock no Bozo me King!  
CT: D --> I agree.  
CT: D --> This robot is verily a great and majestic being.  
CT: D --> I need a towel.  


CG: DID  
CG: DID GRIMLOCK JUST KICK-START A REVOLUTION THROUGH POWER AND SHEER FORCE OF WILL?  
GC: TH1S 1S WHY TH3 D1NOBOTS 4R3 TH3 B3ST  
TA: Who would want two work for the2e a22hole2 of thii2 court anyway?  
AC: (Grimlock) :33< Me Grimlock will install social welfur on this planet  
AC: (Grimlock) :33< Me Grimlock purmises to build new schools  
AC: (Grimlock) :33< Me Grimlock wants to help the little guy  


AT: tHIS IS A SPACESHIP?  
AT: lOOKS MORE LIKE IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM OF MODERN ARTS.  
CA: That thin doesn’t evven look like it could fly a foot  
GA: Only Wheelie Somebody Who Lived Here For A While Knew That The Quintessons Have A Penchant For Surreal Ship Design  
GA: So His Existence Has A Point In The End  
CG: HIS VOICES HIS ANNOYING, THE RHYMING TICK ISN’T THAT IMPRESSIVE AND I DON’T THINK HE HAS MUCH APPEAL OTHERWISE.  
CG: WHY DO HUMAN GROWN-UPS THINK THAT HUMAN WRIGGLERS WOULD LIKE SUCH AN ANNOYING GUY?!  
AA: They d0 until they turn five years 0ld  
TC: Why is Grimlock calling Wheelie a friend after he shoot his nose?  
AC: (Grimlock) :33< Me Grimlock likes being shot in the nose  
AC: (Grimlock) :33< Me Grimlock has weird fetish  


And the movie stopped again.

TA: What ii2 iit now?  
AG: The pizza I ordered is here.  
AG: I’m 8ack soon.  
AT: uHH,,,,  
AT: wHAT CAN WE, uHH, dO UNTIL SHE RETURNS?  
GC: NOTH1NG  
GC: W3 COULD T4LK MOR3 4BOUT OF OUR MOST 1MPR3SS1V3 K1LLS THOUGH  
CG: SHOVE IT  
GC: COM3 ON K4RK4T 1F YOU H4D B3COM3 4 THR3SH3CUT1ON3R YOU WOULD H4V3 4CQU1R3D YOUR OWN SH4R3 OF V1OL3NT K1LLS 4T SOM3 PO1NT  
CG: 1 W4S 4 FOOL WHO W4NT3D TO B3 4CC3PT3D BUT KNOW TH4T 1 4M 4CC3PT3D BY SOC13TY   
CG: MY W1SH TO B3COM3 4 K1LL3R-M4CH1N3 F1LLS M3 W1TH SH4M3  
GC: EVEN THIS “KIDS-MOVIE” MANAGES TO SHOW ALL THE HORRORS OF WAR AND MAKES IT EVEN LESS APPEALING.  
CG: AND LISTENING TO YOUR SUCK-SICKENING STORIES OF SHIT-SLITTING-SHOCKING MURDERS MAKES ME REALIZE ANY OF YOU GIRLS WOULD HAVE BEEN A FUCK-TON BETTER AS A THRESHECUTIONER THAN I  
AC: :33< I doubt that I could find a way to convert the sickles into a claw-form  
CC: Our culture was sick and brutal and we are baitter off wit)(out t)(e violence.  
CC: T)(e next Troll-Civilisation will be baitter and accept you Karkat pike we do.  
CG: CAN WE STILL EXCLUDE KANKRI?  
AA: N0  
AA: But we can tell him t0 shut up whenever we want  
CG: THAT COULD BE PARADISE.  
========================================================================================

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This movie is filled with more brutality and gore than I remembered! Analysing it in detail shows you how much this movie got past the radar of the censors in terms of unfriendly violence.  
> I think the animators, script writers and the director were very happy about the fact that the Censors and Parent Groups wouldn’t give them trouble about murdering robots in different ways because they weren’t humans or made out of flesh and blood. The Transformers are characters in their own right and if one can see past the horizon it makes no difference if somebody is a human or not.  
> Violence and death in movies can be a powerful tool, one that can be badly handed. Some of the deaths in this movie were very badly handled (Dropping a Bridge on several beloved Characters) but I wouldn’t say that the violence itself was played down in any form.  
> It was as brutal as it needed too.


	4. Dare to be Stupid!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weird Al and Monthy Python. What can be better together?

========================================================================================

Some time later...

AG: That fucking asshole!!!!!!!!   
AG: If he ever does that ag8n I will murder him so hard that his ghost will still feel the p8n for the next 8000 sweeps!!!!!!!!  
GC: WH4T 1N P4R4DOX SP4C3 H4PP3N3D S1S?  
AG: Cronus happened!!!!!!!! He dressed as the pizza delivery person and tried to seduce me!!!!!!!!  
AA: I think he saw 0ne t00 many human smut-m0vies with Damara and th0ught the pizza delivery guy stunt c0uld w0rk f0r real  
AG: He thought wrong, so wrong.   
AG: He even thought that his disguise was good enough to trick me into 8elieving he was really the pizza delivery guy.  
AG: Cronus even had the pizza I ordered so I got my money to pay him.  
AG: 8ut the wo8st part was as he su88enly l8y n8ked on my fuc8ing co8ch!!!!!!!!  
GA: Oh My  
AC: :33 < Has he lost hiss mind?  
AG: He called it “The N8ked Troll”.   
AG: He said that he learned that from a series a8out some8ody telling his kids a8out their mother or something.  
CT: D --> Is that the reason Cronus created a hole with his shape in the wall of my living room with the form of your fist engraved in his face  
AG: I guess so.   
AG: I’m sorry.   
AG: I will repair that l8r.  
CT: D --> No, this was clearly the fault of Cronus.  
CT: D --> D --> The lonely fish shall repair it after awakening out of the coma.  
CG: YEAH, YEAH CRONUS SAW TOO MUCH “HOW I MEET YOUR LUSUS”.   
CG: NOW GET ON WITH THE MOVIE!  


TA: We return two our moviie iin progre22 wiith more traumatiiziing 2cene2 for the chiildren.  
TC: The poor wriggler has too meet many psychologists in the future after witnessing so many gruesome images.  
GC: L1K3 1 S41D: C4RLY, TH3 MOTH3R OF D4N13L W1LL K1CK TH3 4UTOBOTS 4SS3S FOR TH1S 4ND TH3 ON3 OF SP1K3 PROB4BLY TOO  
GA: Exploded To Pieces  
GA: A Reminder What Can Happen To A Solider Regardless Of How Brave Strong Or Skilled One Can Be  
CA: Howw often has somebody still to mention that this movvie may be too much for little wwrigglers  
AA: Th0ugh Ultra Magnus l00ks greats as c0rpse  
CC: T)(is is w)(y I wanted to stop all t)(is senseless conc)(flict.   
CC: Corpses are only sad too look at.   
CC: May )(e join )(is comrade Optimus Prime in t)(e Matrix.  
CC: Poor Ultra Magnus...  


AA: And suddenly r0b0ts 0n m0t0rcycles and funny music O_O  
AA: This is the hardest m00d whiplash I have ever seen  
CG: WHAT IN THE DEEPEST CORNERS OF TARTARUS IS THIS?!  
AG: Music from a guy named “Weird Al” Yankovic.  
AG: John gave me someday a list of jokes for whenever he voices a character or if his music is heard.  
AG: Here I have a look at it.  
AG: I should also mention that Wreck-Gar loves to quote pop culture from earth.  
CG: I HAVE A LIST OF EARTH RELATED POP CULTURE REFERENCES.  
CG: DON’T ASK JUST LOOK AT IT.  
AT: iN THAT CASE WE SHOULD COMBINE JOKES ABOUT MONTHY PHYTON WHO WE DON’T KNOW WITH EARTHS POPULAR CULTURE WE DON’T KNOW AND THE MUSIC OF “WEIRD AL“ YANKOVIC WE DON’T KNOW,  
GA: What Could Possibly Go Wrong Question Mark  
CA: (Wreck-Gar) Eat it Eat it Eat it Eat it in the comfy chair and this is an offer you can’t refuse  
AC: (Wreck-Gat) :33 < They s33 me roll on, my Segway and I’m a lumberjack, and I’m okay while I drink this milkshake!  


CG: (Random Junkion) GOT YOUR TAIL!  
AA: (Peter Griffin) And I g0t y0ur face!  
AA: 0uch! O_O   
AA: Why did you hit me Terezi?   
GC: 1T 1S 4G41NST 1NT3RN3T L4W TO M4K3 R3F3R3NC3S FROM SOM3TH1NG N4M3D “F4M1LY GUY”   
GC: 4CCORD1NG TO D4V3 4TL34ST  
AT: (Wreck-Gar) “iS THIS THE REAL LIFE OR IS IT JUST FANTASY OR YOU WANT-A SOME-A LASAGNA MAGNIFICO LIKE RON TRIED TO EAT CHICHESTER CATHEDRAL?”  
TC: All those references are going out of control.  
TC: I am of the opinion that we should balance this with more normal jokes.  
CT: D --> Why should somebody build a race of robots made of junk  
AT: i THINK SOMEBODY RECYCLED THEM.  
CT: D --> That person has to hoove e%ceptionally good at recycling materials and building robots  
CT: D --> I wonder if Jade, Dirk or I could build fun%ioning robots out of useless junk.  
AG: Transforming J8ke into a Ro8ot can’t 8e that hard.  
GA: Or Eridan  
CA: Charmin Maryam vvery charming  


AA: I have a visi0n   
AA: I see an Australian man a religi0us nut-j0b fighting with cars with his 0wn car  
AA: Als0 a very c00l empress wh0 is m0re interesting than him  
CA: I doubt that a mere net cod really hold a large wwarrior robot  
AG: Yes 8ut they are good enough to hold an Ampora. ::::)  
AG: Do you remem8er the time you got captured in the net of those fishertrolls?  
CA: They cheated those Landdwwellers cheated usin such a nefarious device  
CT: (Arcee) D --> You hoove an A%e to grind on me  
CT: (Arcee) D --> E%cuse me if I hoove to bore you with my drill then  
GA: (Wreck-Gar) Top It With A Little Of My Bologna Because I Happen To Know That This Is The Lupine Express In America  
CG: THIS SCENE IS TOTALLY BOLLOCKS!   
CG: BUT FOR SOME REASON I AM UNABLE TO DISLIKE IT.  


AA: I hear the screams 0f th0usands 0f dead M0nty Phyt0n Fans   
AA: They want us t0 make a very specific reference  
TA: About what?  
AA: Ab0ut the R0b0t wh0 re-attaches his arm t0 his b0dy  
AA: Wait, I know it: It’s only a model!  
AA: 0h  
TA: Diid 2omethiing happen?  
AA: The gh0sts said I made the wr0ng reference  
AG: Ro8ots have it so much easier when they lose a lim8  
AG: They just have to get a repl8cement in the next hardware store.  
CT: D --> This is true.  
CT: D --> It is very e%pensive, complicated and difficult to grow a new body part in a cloning vat and attach it to the body  
CT: D --> Not to mention the risk that the body could reject the new limb or organ.  
CC: (Wreck-Gar) “You alwaves play your conga drums, you t)(ink you got t)(e rig)(t and see Lieutanants Scotts death struggle with a crazed desert Lion in Film at 11.”  
AC: :33 < The race looks purrtty wacky  
AC: :33 < I think we could call it “silly races”  
AC: :33 < Wait  
AC: :33 < The Junkions are made out of junk also lifeless remains of machines and they come out of the junk like zombies from their graves  
AC: :33 < Are the Junkions Undead Transfurmers?  
AA: Night 0f the Living dead Transf0rmers  
AA: They crawl 0ut the graves t0 dev0ur the pr0cess0rs 0f the living cause they envy them  
AA: Driven be revenge f0r being senseless slaughtered in a milli0n year 0ld c0nflict  
CG: (Wreck-Gar) YOU CHECK IN BUT YOU DON’T CHECK OUT WHILE WE'RE SO LOUD AND INCOHERENT AND WE CAN DUMP YOUR MOTHER IN THE THAMES!  


AT: bACKWARDS PARKING IS NOT SPRINGERS STRONG SUIT.  
AC: :33 < Wreck-Gar fights like a lion!  
CA: (Springer) “Awway awway I say leader of the junkions”  
TA: (Wreck-Gar) “En garde! Touché oh, that ii2 2o cliiché and wiith my viiciiou2 gang2 of keep left 2iign2 behiind me II wiill gonna party wiith them afterward2 liike iit2 1699.”  
CG: SPRINGER SUCKS AS A FIGHTER BUT HE IS TO FORGETTABLE TO EVEN DISLIKE HIM FOR THAT.  


CT: (Wreck-Gar) D --> Because of this concussion I bought a A Smurf ... TV tray and a dead parrot and I feel fine.  
CG: RESCUED BY THE ”AUDIENCE SURROGATE”.  
CG: SPRINGER BACK TO BOOT CAMP WITH YOU!  
TC: I think the intention was for us to like Daniel more at the expense of Springers abilities as a warrior.  
GC: TH3Y F41L3D PUT SOM3 SUNGL4SS3S ON H1M 1NST34D  
AG: Or the head of Ryan Renolds!  
CG: DON’T YOU MEAN NICOLAS CAGE?  
AG: I’m not a one-trick-one-one-actor-little-muscle8east Vantas. In my heart is room for more extraordinary actors.  
CG: AND FOR WHAT CINEMATIC-CRAP-CATASTROPHE IS HE FAMOUS?  
AG: For one as far as I know 8ut I know him from his masterpiece.  
CC: T)(e Autobots are still surrounded by enemy forces and t)(eir commander is dead.   
CC: I doubt t)(at knocking out t)(e enemy leader will disperse t)(e rest.  


AA: (Wreck-Gar) “It’s just a fleshw0und”  
AA: O_O  
AA: What? What d0 you guys mean with “wr0ng scene”?  
AA: I have no idea where to place th0se Monty Snake references if you scream to me all at once you bl00dy bugging gh0sts 0f fanb0ys!   
AG: You see now why I was so upset a8out your ghost curse Aradia?  
AA: I summ0ned the death y0u had feed t0 spiderm0m  
AG: They howled and screamed how much they h8d me and wanted me to suffer for what I did to them.  
AA: D0esn’t s0und much different fr0m my situati0n  
TC: The Spaceships is continuous rotating while in flight.  
TC: That doesn’t sound healthy for the crew, especially in an atmosphere.  
GA: Surrealists Are Not The Best Choice To Design A Starship  
GA: Also It Doesn’t Look That Good Anyway  


GC: T1M3 FOR MOR3 D1PLOM4CY 4ND ”B4H W33P GR444GN4H WH33P N1 N1 BONG”  
CG: I DOUBT THAT THIS HOT RODDING IDIOT-BOT IS A GOOD DIPLOMAT.  
CG: WAIT  
CG: THEY BACK OFF?!  
CA: They change their minds quicker than a professional turncoat  
AA: (Wreck-Gar) They c0me in peace – sh00t t0 kill and we will tell them ab0ut the night Santa went crazy 0n the Larch  
AC: :33 < I think they are just very territorial  
AC: :33 < If you live in the wilderness you have tabby wary of every other lifefurm first if you don’t know them  
AC: :33 < This world of junk and scrap looks like a very dangerous haunt  


TA: What the 2hiit?  
TA: What ii2 wrong wiith the2e a22hole2?  
GA: This Is Just Plain Strange And Silly  
CC: But t)(ey )(ave t)(e sickest dancing moves!  
AA: They truly dare t0 be stupid  
CT: D --> Can they hear the music we are listening too also  
AT: tHE JUNKIONS PLAYED IT DURING THE BATTLE?  
AT: aRE THEY FANS OF WEIRD AL’S MUSIC?  
GC: TH3Y H4V3 TH3 S1CK3ST D4NC1NG MOV3S  
AG: It is the dance of joy!  
AG: It m8kes you forget that several people died a horri8le d8th!  
TC: Some levity is welcome after many tragedies.   
CG: I JUST WISH I COULD HAVE SEEN OPTIMUS PRIME DANCING.  


CT: D --> I would kiss this hunk of a robot too.  
CA: Me three  
AC: :33 < I ship it red but I n33d the name of the Junkion  
GC: 1 TH1NK GR1MLOCK N33DS 4 MO1R41L MOR3  
GC: H3 H4S 4NG3R M4N4G3M3NT 1SSU3S FROM T1M3 TO T1M3  
AG: I think his moirail was Optimus Prime.  
AG: He was always a8le to calm Grimlock down at any time.  
CG: OPTIMUS PRIME WAS BEST MOIRAIL!  


TA: TV ii2 hii2 own language?!  
TA: What the 2hiit?  
TC: This sounds nonsensical.   
GA: It Would Make More Sense If He States That He Learned The Alternian Language Through Watching Television  
GA: Do You Think Our Human Friends Learned Our Language Through Watching Our Television Programs  
CG: THEY HAVE AT LEAST ENOUGH SENSE NOT TO TALK THE ENTIRE TIME IN QUOTES OR MEMES.   
CG: LIKE WE FUCKING DID!  
GA: Apropos:   
GA: Whose Turn Is It  
GC: M1N3!  
GC: (Wreck-Gar) “1 W4NT 4 N3W DUCK 1 W4NT TO B3L13V3 1 C4N FLY 1 W4NT TO B3L13V3 1 C4N TOUCH TH3 SKY 4ND NO 1 4M NOT TH3 BR41N SP3C14L1ST, NO 1 4M NOT Y3S 1 4M!”  
CG: I WONDER MORE WHY KUP THINKS THAT WRECK-GAR’S CLAIM OF TV BEING ITS OWN LANGUAGE IS LEGITIMATE.  


CG: What.  
AC: :33 < I didn’t thought that the garbage robots could bring back the dead  
CG: What?  
AG: Their medical knowledge is really astounding!!!!!!!!  
CG: What?!  
CT: D --> I know that it is a lot easier to repair a robot than a biological being but this is absurd even if Magnus’s head wasn’t damage during the battle.  
CG: WHAT?!  
CA: Their Glue is pretty effectivve and I wwonder wwhat it is made off  
CG: WHAAT?!?!  
TA: They could become iincrediible riich a2 mechaniic2.  
CG: WHAAAAAT?!?!?!  
CC: YAY!  
CC: Ultra Magnus lives!  
CC: Glub glub glub glub glub!  
CG: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!  
TC: Dying and coming back to life can be a very traumatic experience I think Ultra Magnus should take the next few weeks free.  
CG: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!  
GC: TR4NSFORM3RS 4R3 TH3Y TO STUBBORN TO B3 STOPP3D BY 4 L1TTL3 C4S3 OF PTSD  
CG: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  
GA: They Used A Phoenix Down It Seems.  
CG: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  
AA: Karkat d0 y0u feel well?  
CG: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  
AT: aRE YOU OKAY kARKAT? YOUR FACE HAS TURNED INTO A STRANGE COLOR.  
CG: GET OPTIMUS PRIME’S CRAPSTONE CORPSE TO THE JARRING JUNK-DOCTORS THIS IDIOTIC INSTANT!  
CG: THEY CAN GET HIM BACK TO LIFE TOO!  
AG: They will not 8ecause they are idiots.  
CT: D --> What was this sound  
CA: I believve Karkat just bit his crabtop in twwo  


GA: Why Is The Female Robot Wearing Lipstick?  
CT: (Arcee) D --> The lipstick color fits perfectly with my b100 eyes.  
GA: This Is Not The Right Time To Care About Your Look  
CT: D --> You always apply fresh lipstick on your lips before every battle Kaneighta  
GA: My Lipstick Is Also My Weapon  
CT: D --> Do you really need to do it though  
GA: It Helps Me To Camouflage Myself On The Battlefield  
CT: D --> As what  
GA: As A Seamstress With A Chainsaw  
CT: D --> How many Chainsaw-Wielding Seamstress are usually a background on a battlefield  
GA: Okay You Win  
GA: I Don’t Need Lipstick On My Lips During Battle  
CT: D --> I guessed as much.  
GA: At Least I Have Enough Combat Credibility To Compensate Using Lipstick Before Every Battle   
GA: What Is Her Excuse  
CT: D --> She really needs a chance to prove her battle prowess.  


AG: (Wreck-Gar) “Unicron will have a 8ad time when we compl8n a8out the sketch of people falling out of a high 8uilding and 8uy a pterodactyl for a windshield wiper!“  
CA: He is surprisingly eager to get himself and his men into a battle wwith an evvil codlike being  
CA: WWhat is he gettin out of this  
GC: UN1CRON POS3S 4 THR34T TO 3V3RYON3 WHO L1V3S ON 4 PL4N3T, MOON OR SOM3TH1NG S1M1L4R SO 1T 1S 1N H1S 1NT3R3ST TO G3T R1D OF H1M  
GC: SO 1 DOUBT TH4T H1S MOT1V3S 4R3 ONLY 4LTRU1ST1C  
CC: Somet)(ing odd I )(ave knoticed is t)(at Wreck-Gar )(as a pretty nice looking mustac)(e.  
CC: )(ow is a robot able to groe facial )(air?  
AA: Maybe he was built with 0ne?  
CT: D --> We robot builders usually don’t add any kind of real hair to our products if not absolute necessary.  
CT: D --> Hair gets easily dirty, especially in a battle situation and is of hindrance in them.  
AA: Is this the reas0n the hair 0f my r0b0t b0dy was made 0f steel and had n0 strains?  
CT: D --> I tried to make strains of steel but alone one would hoove taken hours.  
AG: How long would it have t8ken to 8uild chest-nipple canons?  
AA: I will decide their exact placement 0n my chest 0r if I want any at all  
AA: But in the0ry I like the idea  
AA: Can y0u install guns wh0 can c0nvert psychic energy int0 pr0jectiles Equius?  
CT: D --> That should be possible.  
CT: D --> But I lack the parts, the manufacture of psychic-compatible technology is very difficult here.  
AC: :33 < To make this short: Chest-nipple canons are awesome!  


AA: Y0u can find the m0st fantastic things in the gr0und  
AA: But Spaceships are still a rarity  
AT: i WOULDN’T KEEP MY SPACESHIPS BURIED UNDERGROUND.  
AT: aLL THE GARBAGE COULD DAMAGE THE MACHINES.  
AG: Those junk-heads know that they do.  
AG: To 8e honest they come across as more competent than our heroes.  
GC: TH3Y TRUST TH31R OWN 4B1L1T13S 4ND NOT SOM3 STUP1D PROPH3C13S  
CC: (Ultra Magnus) “Now I )(ave t)(e c)(ance to redeem myself.”.  
CC: (Ultra Magnus) “How can I control this surrealist-arrangement of controls?”  
CG: (Kup) “I THINK THE MELTED CLOCK THING IS THE BUTTON FOR THE AFTERBURNER AND THAT HUMAN WITH AN APPLE AS A FACE IS THE LEVER FOR THE SPEED CONTROL.“  
CT: (Arcee) “D --> This ship has seatbelts 100king like eternal stairs, fantastic “  
CT: (Arcee) D --> “I will strap the little human into them.“  
CA: (Daniel) “This ship looks scary Arcee“  
CT: (Arcee) “D --> Just wait until we confront the planet eating, genocidal god.”  
CC: (Ultra Magnus) “We reelly s)(ould send )(im )(ome wit)( a smaller s)(ip before going into battle.”  
AT: (Hot Rod) “bUT HE IS THE AUDIENCE SURROGATE FOR THE CHILDREN IN THE AUDIENCE!”  
CG: (Kup) “THEY LEFT THE THEATERS CRYING AFTER YOU CAUSED THE DEATH OF OPTIMUS PRIME YOU USELESS BAD-PROGRAMMED PIECE OF BILE!”  
AT: (Hot Rod) “hOW OFTEN DO i HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS? “  


And the movie once more stopped again.

CG: GUYS I NEED ANOTHER LAPTOP.  
CG: THIS SUBSTITUTE IS GARBAGE.  
TA: What are you u2iing?  
CG: THE LAPTOP FROM CRONUS I BOWERED IT FROM HIM BUT THAT THING IS INCREDIBLE SLOW.  
CA: I knoww wwhy and I knoww wwhat I knoww but I am not tellin it  
TA: Too much porn  
TA: II know the problem from Damara’2 computer.  
CA: Don’t be so sure about that  
CG: HERE IS A FOLDER LABELED “S”.   
CG: I REALLY WONDER WHAT WILL BE IN THERE.  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK?!  
CG: MAGICIANS, SORCERERS AND THAUMATURGISTS?  
CA: WWhat did you expect  
CA: You aren’t usin Damara’s Laptop  
AA: Y0u w0uld already g0uging 0ut y0ur eyes if y0u w0uld see her p0rn f0lders  
AA: And I d0n’t even talk ab0ut the passw0rd pr0tected f0lders  
TA: Why do you have her Porn-Folder Pa22word2?  
AA: She just gave it t0 me  
AA: That w0man d0es n0t kn0w shame  
CG: WHAT A FUCKING SURPRISE FROM A WOMAN WHO ONCE WALKED NAKED THROUGH THE STREETS WITHOUT GIVING A DAMN.   
AG: Wh8ver, get a new Cra8trop Vantas and stop compl8ning a8out slightly distur8ing porn.  
CG: IF I WANT TOO LOOK AT SOMETHING DISGUSTING I WOULD LOOK AT YOU SERKET.  


–carcinoGeneticist [CG] left memo–

AG: Hey!!!!!!!!  
AG: No8ody sasses me like that and gets away with it!!!!!!!!  
AG: Come 8ack here Vantas!!!!!!!!  


–arachnidsGrip [CG] left memo–

CT: D --> What was that  
GC: 4N URG3 TO B3 4N 4SSHOL3 4ND THROW1NG 4 H1SSY F1T  
GC: 1 4LSO SUSP3CT TH4T SH3 1S K1ND OF BOR3D  
GC: 1 TH1NK 1T W4S NOT TH3 B3ST 1D34 TO S33 TH3 MOV13 1MM3D14T3LY 4 S3COND T1M3 4FT3R W4TCH1NG 1T FOR TH3 F1RST  
AC: :33 < Equius, Terezi I had an idea we could try until the two return  
AC: :33 < We make some Funny Cat videos and upload them on the internet  
CT: D --> With you as the cat I assume  
GC: 1 G3T TH3 C4M3R4  
GC: PR3P4R3 YOURS3LF N3P3T4  
AC: :33 < I will not be the only cat on that pictures my friends  
AC: :33 < I recently found several kittens on an island full of them  
CT: D --> You mean the Japanese island of Tashirojima I visited with you  
CT: D --> And you took several of them with you, correct  
AC: :33 < Yes.  
GC: TH4T DO3SN’T SOUND L3G4L  
GC: 1 TH1NK TH3 P3OPL3 ON T4SH1ROJ1M4 W4NT TO K33P TH31R C4TS B3C4US3 TH3Y L1K3 TH3M 4ND B3C4US3 OF GOOD TOUR1SM  
AC: :33 < In my defense I want to say that I was able to hold myself purrtty good back at that day  
AC: :33 < I only took twenty cats with me  
CT: D --> Ugh  
CT: D --> I will observe them and then we decide what to do.  
========================================================================================

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References overload!  
> I hope you liked it, you don’t get any day the chance to combine Weird Al and Monty Python any other day after all.  
> Some of the references from the Monty Python Pool can be confusing for some, I just didn’t wanted to use only the best well known quotes.  
> I should mention that I am also writing a lot of other stuff at the Moment and most of my time is spend writing “Platonic”, a Loud House Fanfiction right now.  
> Also jokes are getting rather badly from my hand at the Moment.  
> I am not sure if Nepeta stealing cats from Tashirojima is that great of a joke for example, even if it makes sense, I think wasn’t able to make it funny.
> 
> Anyway, despite all the problems, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.
> 
> See you next time!


End file.
